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The value of a Catholic education and a #2 pencil

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Alex H

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Little Mary Margaret was not the best student in Catholic School. Usually she slept through the class.
One day her teacher, a Nun, called on her while she was sleeping. "Tell me Mary Margaret, who created the universe?"
When Mary Margaret didn't stir, little Johnny who was her friend sitting behind her, took his pencil and jabbed her in the rear.
"God Almighty!" shouted Mary Margaret.
The Nun said, "Very good" and continued teaching her class.
A little later the Nun asked Mary Margaret, "Who is our Lord and Saviour?"
But Mary didn't stir from her slumber Once again, Johnny came to her rescue and stuck Mary Margaret in the butt.
"Jesus Christ!!!" shouted Mary Margaret and the Nun once again said,"Very good," and Mary Margaret fell back asleep.
The Nun asked her a third question..."What did Eve say to Adam after she had her twenty-third child?"
Again, Johnny came to the rescue. This time Mary Margaret jumped up and shouted, "If you stick that damn thing in me one more time, I'll break it in half!"
The nun fainted...........
 

Student

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True story

My wife went to a convent school and, in her early teens, the nuns gave her a book on how to behave (sex education not being one of their fortes). In the book it said that it was alright if a boy kissed you on the cheek but, if they wanted to kiss you on the lips, you had to say "My lips are reserved for the man who is to be the father of my children". My wife was relating this at a dinner party and one of the other guests commented that the obvious riposte was "Well, I was only after a snog but if you're offering ...."
 

dickm

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Dunno if it's true or not, but a friend claimed one of the nuns who taught her said never to stand near a bloke with patent leather shoes, 'cos if they were well polished, he could use them as a mirror to look up her skirt.
 
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