Quantcast
  • We invite you to join UKWorkshop.
    Members can turn off viewing Ads!

ronnie barker-comic genius!

UKworkshop.co.uk

Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:

lincs1963

Established Member
Joined
31 Dec 2011
Messages
144
Reaction score
0
Location
Lincolnshire
This was originally shown on BBC TV back in the seventies. Ronnie Barker could say all this without
a snigger (though god knows how many takes).

Irony is that they received not one complaint. The speed of delivery must have been too much for the whining herds. Try getting through it without converting the spoonerisms [and not wetting your pants] as you read ...

This is the story of Rindercella and her sugly isters.





Rindercella and her sugly isters lived in a marge lansion. Rindercella worked very hard frubbing scloors, emptying poss pits, and shivelling shot. At the end of the day, she was knucking fackered. The sugly isters were right bugly astards. One was called Mary Hinge, and the other was called Betty Swallocks; they were really forrible huckers; they had fetty sweet and fetty swannies. The sugly isters had tickets to go to the ball, but the cotton runts would not let Rindercella go.



Suddenly there was a bucking fang, and her gairy fodmother appeared. Her name was Shairy Hithole and she was a light rucking fesbian. She turned a pumpkin and six mite whice into a hucking cuge farriage with six dandy ronkeys who had buge hollocks and dig bicks. The gairy fodmother told Rindercella to be back by dimnight otherwise, there would be a cucking falamity. At the ball, Rindercella was dancing with the prandsome hince when suddenly the clock struck twelve. 'Mist all chucking frighty!!!' said Rindercella, and she ran out tripping barse over ollocks, and losing her slass glipper.



The very next day the prandsome hince knocked on Rindercella's door and the sugly isters let him in. Suddenly, Betty Swallocks lifted her leg and let off a fassive mart. 'Who's fust jarted?' asked the prandsome hince. 'Blame that fugly ucker over there!' said Mary Hinge. When the stinking brown cloud had lifted, he tried the slass glipper on both the sugly isters without success and their feet stucking funk. Betty Swallocks was ducking fisgusted and gave the prandsome hince a knack in the kickers. This was not difficult as he had bucking fuge halls and a hig bard on. He tried the slass glipper on Rindercella and it fitted pucking ferfectly. Rindercella and the prandsome hince were married. The pransome hince lived his life in lucking fuxury, and Rindercella lived hers with a follen swanny!


THE END.
 

Richard T

Established Member
Joined
24 Apr 2009
Messages
1,743
Reaction score
0
Location
Wet Midlands
Nope, definitely not Ronnie B .... not within earshot of Miss Barbara Dixon anyway.

I remember some very witty as well as dead rude Spoonerisms as well as dodgey Cockney ... but tothing like nat.
 

Benchwayze

Established Member
Joined
10 Mar 2007
Messages
9,450
Reaction score
107
Location
West Muddylands
Lincs,
That's disgusting.

Had I heard that on the Beeb I would have been in a .....
No I can't post it. It's just as bad!

John :oops:
 

soulboy

Established Member
Joined
29 Dec 2010
Messages
250
Reaction score
0
fairy vunny but sounds 'out of character' for a man that didnt need to use crude language to get laughs. chris
 
Top