Joke Thread 4

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Not really a joke but caused some laughter at our local supermarket.
I was with my wife grocery shopping some years ago and she was delving in a freezer.
" What are you looking for" I asked "
" A turkey Breast"
" You've got one in your hand"
"yes I know but I want a bigger one than this"
She then stood up holding it aloft and shouted to one of the assistants standing a few yards away
" Have you breasts bigger than this"
The assistant smiled, looked down and said
"Possibly, and mine are a hell of a lot warmer" :D :D
Alan
 
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Not really a joke but caused some laughter at our local supermarket.
I was with my wife grocery shopping some years ago and she was delving in a freezer.
" What are you looking for" I asked "
" A turkey Breast"
" You've got one in your hand"
"yes I know but I want a bigger one than this"
She then stood up holding it aloft and shouted to one of the assistants standing a few yards away
" Have you breasts bigger than this"
The assistant smiled, looked down and said
"Possibly, and mine are a hell of a lot warmer" :D :D
Alan
I remember years ago whilst on a long business trip in Alabama visiting one morning a local supermarket to get much needed supplies to curb the effects of a severe hangover, at the checkout as I handed over my payment the lady serving me gave me the customary 'Now y'all have a nice day!' in the local southern drawl.
As I collected my supplies I replied 'Thanks but I have other plans...'
 
Part of my job was doing jewellery valuations, I once asked a member of staff to put a sapphire and diamond ring into the ultrasonic before I looked at it, whilst waiting, I'm looking at the job card and it's described as a"Saffire and diamond ring" when they bring the ring to me, I said "There is no F in sapphire"
The reply was "Well it was there before I put it in the ultrasonic"
 
Part of my job was doing jewellery valuations, I once asked a member of staff to put a sapphire and diamond ring into the ultrasonic before I looked at it, whilst waiting, I'm looking at the job card and it's described as a"Saffire and diamond ring" when they bring the ring to me, I said "There is no F in sapphire"
The reply was "Well it was there before I put it in the ultrasonic"
Sapphires can crack in an ultrasonic. Not too surprise there was no F’ in sapphire when you got it.
 
A woman gets in an elevator in Trump tower and Trump walks in and she pushes the stop button and she says to him “Oh Mr Trump, I’ve always had a huge crush on you and if you don’t mind, I’d like to give you a BJ right here”

To which he replied “Great! What’s in it for me?”
 
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