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Two Red Indians and an Irishman were walking through the woods. All of a sudden one of the Indians ran up a hill to the mouth of a small cave. 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Wooooo!' he called into the cave and listened closely until he heard an answering, 'Wooooo! Wooooo! Woooooo! He then tore off his...

My mate said, "I like your sports car." I said, "it's not very practical now that we have a baby." He said, "how about I buy it off you?" I said,"go on then. Three grand?" He said, "you've got yourself a deal." I said, "nice one - you're going to make a brilliant dad!"

Myself and my wife walked past a new, very swanky restaurant in town last night. "Wow, did you smell that food?" She asked, "It smells absolutely incredible!" Being the kind hearted soul that I am, I thought, "What the hell, I'll treat her!" So we turned round and walked past again.