Two Irishmen got of the boat at Liverpool, walking past the job centre one says to the other, t'would you look at tat 'TREE FELLER'S WANTED' tis a pity tears only the two of us eh!
In actual fact that ain't too far from the truth..
I used to get migrain headaches, nowt to do with beer either!, and as I was in the R.A.F. at the time I had an ECG (I think that's what it's called?) where they check yer brian waves and mine came out quite normal and I was told that it would certify my sanitry, ermmmm or should that be sanity? I'm always getting my arrrrs mixed up :mrgreen:
Billy was born with one of his eyes missing, so the doctor replaced it with a wooden eye. All of his friends teased him and gave him hell growing up. He was always afraid of girls because they also made fun of him. One night, Billy was at a bar, when a woman with straight up and down lips approched him. They talked for a while and had a few drinks, when Billy decided that this girl may have a vertical mouth, but she's cool and doesn't seem to mind his wooden eye. So he says to her, "Would you like to go out with me some time?"
she excitedly replies,"Would I??"
Billy gets angry and replies,"Who you callin' wood eye, pussy cat Face!!" :evil:
I was walking in the woods with a friend discussing trees when i came across a tree I couldn't identify. My friend identified it straight away as being a dogwood.....apparently it is identified by it's bark.