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Today’s lesson “NEVER POINT”

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Oraclebhoy

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My good lady walked into my garage today and straight away said “Is that a new tool”
Yes it was and I was caught red handed with it out on display, I knew this day would come so I just said “yes, had it over a month now”
HAD I stopped at that point all would have been well but no, I had to bloody point to the evolution rage5-s table saw.
She said “I didn’t even see that one, I was on about this one” pointing to my pocket hole jig.
So I had to explain why I suddenly have a table saw and a fancy pocket hole jig….😕
 

novocaine

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Always hide your tools with a layer of junk....

Also if you have bikes then ones which are in pieces don't count so never build up all the frames, groupsets, wheels otherwise she will exclaim how many bikes!!!!!

Cheers James
Bikes only come in 2 colours. Black and red. Anything else will stand out as different and therefore memorable.
Hence, I only have 3 bikes. Just because the value of whats locked away in the bike store swings wildly from winter to summer doesn't mean i have more hidden in the loft that get swapped around. Lies i say, all lies.
 

Thingybob

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I got wise many years ago when used to say to my wife new dress then to be replied to with "I have had it for ages and you have seen me in it before " beeing the attentive husband that i am cant say i have or havent seen it before so keep stum , Now if im asked that a new tool then "no what do you think i made the bathroom cabinet with ages ago ";)
 

Lons

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You just have to make sure that everything is shiny and clean or everything is covered in shavings and dust then they can't tell what's new.
 

Oraclebhoy

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You just have to make sure that everything is shiny and clean or everything is covered in shavings and dust then they can't tell what's new.
Did that with the tablesaw, it was covered in saw dust and I even plastered it with Star Wars stickers (yes I’m sad) to make it look like my other stuff.
Just forgot about the very clean jig.
 

Daniel2

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My strategy is to identify an obscure job that needs doing in the house,
but can only be properly achieved with a specific tool.
The good wife then (+/- happily), purchases said tool in the hope that
said job will get done, one day.
I then struggle to get a round tuit.
It's worked remarkably well, so far.

Edit : The added benefit to this strategy is that she also thinks twice, before
asking me to do something. (y) :cool:
 
Last edited:

Fergie 307

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Like the idea, but
Always hide your tools with a layer of junk....

Also if you have bikes then ones which are in pieces don't count so never build up all the frames, groupsets, wheels otherwise she will exclaim how many bikes!!!!!

Cheers James
like the idea. More difficult with motorbikes, the frames are harder to hide!
My worst capture was having my beloved return home unexpectedly to find a flat bed parked on the lawn and two hefty blokes helping me manhandle 3/4 of a ton of lathe into the workshop. "Just something I picked up on EBay" didn't prove to be an acceptable answer to " what the neck is that, and why is it on my lawn? " To cap it all the coolant tank hadn't been emptied, so mid interrogation the guys moved it a bit and a gallon or so if coolant slopped out onto the lawn, rather undermining my "it's grass darling, it's only been flattened a bit, soon spring back up". Not one of my better days, needless to say the movers found it very funny !
 

Fergie 307

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My greatest fear is that one day I will die...
And my wife will sell my guns for what I told her I paid for them.

Same applies to tools
And watches. When I'm gone she will discover that the watch case I keep in the study has some identical friends in the workshop!
 

fixit45

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Be like me my wife has never been in my workshops and the upside is I always know where everything is.
 

Warferret45

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I got caught with motorbike engine parts in the bath, My answer, you knew what I was like when you married me. You knew I would do this dung.
 

Fergie 307

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Be like me my wife has never been in my workshops and the upside is I always know where everything is.
My wife and kids have no interest in machinery at all. When my daughter was about 5 she wandered into the workshop when I was on the lathe, " what's that machine for daddy? " Struggling to think of an explanation I told her is was for making round things. This is now a standing joke, when dad retires he's going to spend all his time in the shed making round things! I can only hope!!
 

Fergie 307

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I got caught with motorbike engine parts in the bath, My answer, you knew what I was like when you married me. You knew I would do this dung.
Ah those were the days, carburettors in the kitchen sink, heat cure paint baking in the oven, grubby overalls in the washing machine! Only bonus is she was quite receptive to the idea of me having an oven, sink and washing machine in the shed, which would obviously need to be larger to accommodate all this stuff! Still have my moments, a while ago she was getting some stuff out of the freezer when the cry went up, "what the neck is this?" She'd found the shaft for my thicknesser, waiting to be retrieved once I'd got the pulley nice and hot to press it on. It was well wrapped up, not doing any harm . ....?
 

paulrbarnard

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My strategy is to identify an obscure job that needs doing in the house,
but can only be properly achieved with a specific tool.
The good wife then (+/- happily), purchases said tool in the hope that
said job will get done, one day.
I then struggle to get a round tuit.
It's worked remarkably well, so far.

Edit : The added benefit to this strategy is that she also thinks twice, before
asking me to do something. (y) :cool:
I have a similar agreement. If I’m asked to do a job I get to buy a specific tool for that job at something less than what it would have cost to get the job done by someone else. I do still get the “too many tools” recital though.
 

paulrbarnard

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We have an unwritten rule.

I don't ask how much her hairdresser costs and she doesn't ask how much the tools cost. All we say is "that looks nice/interesting"

It's worked for nearly 40 years!
I don’t think “That looks interesting” would go down well when my wife gets back from the hairdressers 😜
 
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