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Things you say that got you into the dog house.

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Amateur

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Scotland
I'm up to my neck in it.
During a romantic evening I held my wife, kissed her deeply on the lips and looked into her eyes.
" You're the most beautiful woman on our street" I told her.
She pushed me away.
" You used to tell me I was the most beautiful woman in the universe"
As she stood with hands on her hips...You know the stance.
" But that was 31 years ago" I mumbled.
I nearly added, Times Change......but kept my gob shut.
I'm now on jankers,
Not speaking
And getting the, "Evil Stare"
 

Distinterior

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Colchester, Essex.
One Christmas, I bought my wife a Tumble Dryer and another year I bought her a petrol powered Leaf Blower......I remember both those Christmas's were quite frosty but it had nothing to do with the weather...!!
 

Cabinetman

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Men and women differ in all sorts of ways, it’s always important to remember the difference between want and need which for men often are the same thing, your wife might need some car mats but she wants that handbag, huge difference in response, now if you were to put some new car mats in her car without telling her she would probably be tickled, but wrapped up under the tree? Ian
Speaking from personal experience, it was very frosty that year.
 

hunter27

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An often retold story of when a friend of ours bought his newly wed wife a porta-potty for Christmas for use on their small boat instead of a bucket. They are both in their 80s now but he still has a boat, it's a 30' racing trimaran :) seriously.
 

Jelly

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Sheffield
I once bought the missus an ironing board cover...
I remember my dad thinking he was dead funny by buying my mum a print she'd seen in a gallery somewhere and really liked, framing it and hanging it in the place that she thought it would go well after she went to bed, then giving her a new ironing board as her "official" birthday gift.

She saw the ironing board stormed through to the kitchen where he was making breakfast and got about two (very loud) words into giving him the blast before clocking the print, bursting into tears and hugging him.

They now frequently exchange housework related gifts as an in joke.
 

novocaine

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Warrington
bought my wife a fitness tracker and a set of scales for valentines day.
turns out, I have a good wife, she wanted both.

got bollocked for buying flowers from a florist last year when she'd been to hospital. "what you wasting money for, go to aldi"

I'm a lucky man me. :)
 
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