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The saga of Bobs conk'

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sunnybob

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It's well known I have scant regard for "properly qualified" doctors.
I have a tale to tell the why of.
In 1970, on a drunken night out, I argued with a lamppost and lost. When I sobered up, I went to my family doctor, face all bruised, "cant breave fru by dose".
Quack doctor number one gave me karvol capsules to break into hot water and sniff the fumes. He didnt grasp that I went to him because I could not sniff.

Years pass. Another quack tells me I have a diverted septum, "its a big job, its weeks off of work" me with two small kids, and no sick pay, soldiers on.

Years pass, more quacks give me yet more "cant be done's"
Years pass. I am now working for a company that has private medical.
Year 2000, I get the interview, Dr "I'm so important youre lucky I'm talking to you" cant understand what the problem is (my nose did not look bent, it was just blocked), until he tried to shine the little led up there and couldnt. "oh" he said.

He operates. I'm out the next day with no pain and no bleeding, sadly, also no breathing. I go to see him the following week and he admits to me "hmm, maybe I could have removed a bit more" That is his actual words. He didnt even say goodbye as I left.

I move to Cyprus (08) and now have constant pharyngitis due to having to sleep with my mouth open. 1 doctor, and 1 surgeon, and I get offered sea water in a spray can to "dry out the membrane" W.T.F.?

Come 2019, and the next doctor (sorry, surgeon) looks up my nose (thats what he gets the big bucks for) and frowns. I tell him the sad tale of the last operation. he says, "it was not done well, I can fix this"
Sorry? did I hear a volounteer????? "it will cost you 1600 euros".
Sorry doc, youve mistaken me for a rich man.

Come 2020, Cyprus has introduced a national health system like the UK was supposed to have. Every private doctor and clinic has signed up. The same surgeon, the same operation, in a plastic surgery private clinic, is now a tenner!

Count me in!

So 2 weeks ago, I had the operation that should have been performed almost 50 years ago. He said I took a couple of hours to repair the damage, including the use of a hammer and chisel, and then he rebuilt the inner from scraps cut from other places. 25 stitches all inside the nose, not a mark on the outside. NO, there are NO pictures! I had to stay overnight, had lots and lots of painkillers, and have had to go see him twice since for him to remove packing and stitches.

I can breathe!, sorry, I need to say that again... I CAN BREATHE!

Thank you Dr Theodorus Makrides, thank you from the depths of my lungs.
=D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D> =D>
 

woodhutt

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A hammer and chisel?
There are at least a dozen skilled guys on the forum could have done that for you at half the cost and supplied their own tools. (hammer)

Hope you're feeling good. :)
Pete
 

Trevanion

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Good to hear you’ve got that sorted Bob, I can’t imagine the relief.

I’m having my leg looked at by a private Chiropractor/Sports Injury Specialist next week because I can’t stand the quality of the doctors locally (they’re just lazy more than anything) and I’d only be given stronger painkillers rather than actually trying to fix the problem.
 

Inspector

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That's a lotta years with a blugged up nodse. Figured you for a get real drunk again and run a drill through kind of do it yourself guy. (hammer) At least one nostril at least. :wink:

Pete
 

AndyT

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That's all very well, but how did he sharpen the chisel? :wink:
 

sunnybob

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I didnt give advance warning because I know MikeG would have broken the airplane embargo to be able to use one of his chisels on me. (hammer) (hammer) :lol:
I dont think the Doc had a tormek though, because I'm pretty sure I had a blunt force trauma :roll:
When I spoke to him after, I asked if he had my head in a clamp and thats when he said yes and explained about the chisel. Both temples were really sore for several days so I asked him to tell the nurse to use one less turn of the thumb screws on the next patient.
This man is a workaholic, He operated on me at midday, and came to see me at 10.30 pm, still cheerful. At his office he works 9am till 10 or 11 pm depending on how many are waiting to see him. Hope he doesnt burn out. :roll:
Yes, 50 unpleasant years due to UK GP's and surgeons. I wish you all luck.

I'm now waiting on a keyhole surgery on my knee, lets hope that Doc is as good as this Doc. 8)
 

MikeG.

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sunnybob":njsaufby said:
I didnt give advance warning because I know MikeG would have broken the airplane embargo to be able to use one of his chisels on me. (hammer) (hammer) :lol:
I dont think the Doc had a tormek though, because I'm pretty sure I had a blunt force trauma :roll:..........
Oh good, I love it when a plan comes together. I had a little chat with your man beforehand, and he agreed to use your chisel for the operation. I hope he cleaned it up nicely and put it back where it was.

Now, you will think twice before abusing tools again, won't you..... :wink: :lol:

-

I can't begin to imagine how you've tolerated that problem for 50 years, and I'm really pleased for you that it seems to be fixed.
 

sunnybob

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Mike, he wouldnt need to clean one of my chisels, the blood and muck would blend right in with the dried cement and stone dust. :lol: :lol:

In a strange coincidence, When telling a relative about this operation, she said her son had flattened his nose in a playground fall at secondary school. She took him to the hospital and the "doctor" said if it was operated on it would go bright red within a few years and itch forever. The child ran screaming from the hospital with the mother in pursuit.
He is now almost 50 and still cant eat with his mouth closed. Hopefully my experience will convince him to try again, but maybe not in the UK.
 

MikeG.

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I wonder if your experience of the NHS is from a while back. It doesn't sound anything like the service we have here these days, which is actually really rather good.

Anyway, could you ask Theo if he'd like to have a go at my nose? I've broken it 5 or 6 times and have no sense of smell. My wife tells me roses and honeysuckle smell rather nice, and it'd be good to see if she is just winding me up.
 

Lons

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Glad you can breathe again Bob. The moral of the story however is don't get drunk and pick an argument with a lamp post. #-o

The NHS generally is pretty good but whilst most of the consultants are excellent some still think they're god.

My wife was having hip problems a few years ago, saw a consultant several times over 18 months via the local NHS trust and got nowhere, he eventually said he didn't believe it was hips but rather reflected back pain, referred her to have injections which wasted another couple of months but she was scanned at that time and the doc said I'll give the injections but both your hips are totally shot. By that time she couldn't walk 20 yards, had qualified for a blue badge and I'd bought her a mobility scooter. :roll:, the next consultant appointment was 3 months later so instead we pulled a few strings, switched hospitals and saw a different consultant who told us it had been left far too long and the bones had deteriorated, she had the first hip operation within 2 weeks and second done 7 weeks later and needed surgical repairs to the bones. A bit of behind the scenes investigation told us the first consultant had based his last diagnosis on a 7 month old X ray. Nothing at all wrong with her back btw.

My golf pal has dry macular degeneration though his eyes are stable however he visits hospital every 6 months for checks. At his visit just before Christmas he was told he needed to be checked every 3 months in future as there were early signs of wet degeneration which can be treated by injection and appointments would be sent, instead of that he got a letter from the lead consultant who he'd never seen saying he had been discharged. He rang querying that and asked to see the consultant which he did and this time was told by him there was no wet degeneration and he was discharged, 2 weeks later he woke up with very poor vision, went to A&E and was diagnosed with, you guessed wet macular degeneration, waited another 3 weeks almost blind until his appointment last Thursday and gets his first injection next week. The problem is there is very little recourse as ranks are very quickly closed.
 

sunnybob

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MikeG.":2mp0mln3 said:
I wonder if your experience of the NHS is from a while back. It doesn't sound anything like the service we have here these days, which is actually really rather good.

Anyway, could you ask Theo if he'd like to have a go at my nose? I've broken it 5 or 6 times and have no sense of smell. My wife tells me roses and honeysuckle smell rather nice, and it'd be good to see if she is just winding me up.
NO, not as long as the fatwah is still extant. :lol: :lol:

My NHS experiences date from the mid 60's to 2016, when I finally gave up trying to visit a nurse at a doctors practice and had to make an appointment SIX WEEKS in advance. (hammer) There are many tales to tell, but not enough time to write them all down

In all seriousness though, if there wasnt a flight embargo, and you had the money to visit the island twice (once for a consult and once for a few days for the op., it would be perfectly possible. He was (is) a private doctor based in Limassol who has agreed to work for and be paid by the government to fix anyone who turns up. Once the deal was agreed, his secretary contacted me and asked when I wanted the operation :shock: :shock: :shock: :shock:
Putting it all back together would be childs play to him, but I dont know if the smell nerves can be repaired.
HAH!, you just triggered a thought, for the last 50 years I have never been able to smell the perfume my missus spends most of our income on. My senses only respond to sewage, gas, and electrical burning. Maybe that will change as well. I'll let you know.
 

sunnybob

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Lons":xkzxf2k3 said:
Glad you can breathe again Bob. The moral of the story however is don't get drunk and pick an argument with a lamp post. #-o

The NHS generally is pretty good but whilst most of the consultants are excellent some still think they're god.

My wife was having hip problems a few years ago, saw a consultant several times over 18 months via the local NHS trust and got nowhere, he eventually said he didn't believe it was hips but rather reflected back pain, referred her to have injections which wasted another couple of months but she was scanned at that time and the doc said I'll give the injections but both your hips are totally shot. By that time she couldn't walk 20 yards, had qualified for a blue badge and I'd bought her a mobility scooter. :roll:, the next consultant appointment was 3 months later so instead we pulled a few strings, switched hospitals and saw a different consultant who told us it had been left far too long and the bones had deteriorated, she had the first hip operation within 2 weeks and second done 7 weeks later and needed surgical repairs to the bones. A bit of behind the scenes investigation told us the first consultant had based his last diagnosis on a 7 month old X ray. Nothing at all wrong with her back btw.

My golf pal has dry macular degeneration though his eyes are stable however he visits hospital every 6 months for checks. At his visit just before Christmas he was told he needed to be checked every 3 months in future as there were early signs of wet degeneration which can be treated by injection and appointments would be sent, instead of that he got a letter from the lead consultant who he'd never seen saying he had been discharged. He rang querying that and asked to see the consultant which he did and this time was told by him there was no wet degeneration and he was discharged, 2 weeks later he woke up with very poor vision, went to A&E and was diagnosed with, you guessed wet macular degeneration, waited another 3 weeks almost blind until his appointment last Thursday and gets his first injection next week. The problem is there is very little recourse as ranks are very quickly closed.
I'm a LOT older, and a LITTLE wiser, my alcohol intake is now under carefully controlled scenarios :lol: :lol: 8) 8)

I have several other tales of woe. My daughter is a nurse in the UK, even that connection did not help me the last time I had a minor emergency. That time I had to go wait in a doctors surgery for 2 hours, only to be told I am allergic to ephidrine. Which is strange, because when I told my favourite Dr (Theo) about my allergies he was very puzzled by that one , as apparently ephidrine is in all people all of the time. (hammer)
The one saving grace of the NHS is in life saving. Car crashes, heart attacks, whatever happens that needs to be sorted "on the spot" is usually achieved with amazing success rates. My mum had several (no, MANY ) years of extra life because of the fantastic way she was saved from different life threatening illnesses. Everything else is designed to make you go away.
 

Lons

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sunnybob":14zkm9bx said:
I'm a LOT older, and a LITTLE wiser, my alcohol intake is now under carefully controlled scenarios :lol: :lol: 8) 8)
Ah so it wasn't you staggering down the road last time we were in Cyprus :lol:. That was a few years ago mind. :wink:

Despite those two NHS incidents I posted I have a generally positive view of the NHS Bob and that's partly influenced by the number of close family and friends we have involved both currently and now retired, I'm not going to comment further as it's another of those subjects that brings out the googling armchair experts.

Might be wise not to make comments about the amount of perfume or there could perhaps be a risk of it being broken again. Have to look after your conk, you only get one. :)
 

Phil Pascoe

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I was getting blinding headaches, so went to see the quack. Ah, he said, we'd better get that nose Xrayed. The Xray duly came back, and he compared it with a previous Xray. Do you know who it was who kicked you? Ohhhhh yes, I know who it was that kicked me. Well buy him a pint next time you see him - he's kicked it back straighter than the last person who kicked you left it. (This was a pub fight, the previous two or three were from karate and the first from rugby.)
 
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