Recipe for your Christmas Cake

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Dodge

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Christmas cake recipe:

Ingredients:

* 2 cups flour
* 1 stick butter
* 1 cup of water
* 1 tsp baking soda
* 1 cup of sugar
* 1 tsp salt
* 1 cup of brown sugar
* Lemon juice
* 4 large eggs
* Nuts
* 2 bottles wine (or more, depending upon your taste)
* 2 cups of dried fruit

Take a large cup of the wine to check quality. Take a large bowl, check the wine again by pouring another large cup. To be sure it is of the highest quality, pour another level cup of the wine and drink. Repeat. Turn on the electric mixer. Beat one cup of butter in a large fluffy bowl. Add one teaspoon of sugar. Beat again. At this point it's best to make sure the wine is still OK. Try another cup... Just in case. Turn off the mixerer thingy. Break 2 eggs and add to the bowl and chuck in the cup of dried fruit.
Pick the fruit up off floor. Mix on the turner.. If the fried druit gets stuck in the beaterers just pry it loose with a
drewscriver. Sample the wine to check for tonsisticity. Next, sift two cups of salt or something. Check the wine again. Now shift the lemon juice and strain your nuts. Add one table. Add a spoon of sugar, or somefink plus whatever else you can find. Greash the oven. Turn the cake tin 360 degrees and try not to fall over. Don't forget to beat off the turner. Finally, throw the bowl through the window. Finish the wine and wipe work surfaces and the floor with the cat.

Go to the supermarket and buy a cake plus paracetamol for your hangover!

Bingle Jells!
 
Brilliant :lol: :lol: :lol:

Being from the spinny side of wood, I particularly liked the "Don't forget to beat off the turner" part.
 
Thanks for the recipe, I am making the cake today. Must get some more wine though !!
 

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