Piles.

[whiskywill]

A Barnsley chap is suffering from piles and goes to his local chemist. 'Hast tha got any arse cream?' he enquires.
'Aye', says the chemist. 'Dost tha want vanilla or strawberry?'

 

[RossJarvis]

Ah, that reminds me of the time when Nelson Mandela moved to Barnsley (it's a while ago so you probably won't remember!). Anyway, to cut a very long story short, every few days someone knocked on his door and delivered 2 dozen bumpers, followed by 6 water- pumps, head gasket sets and various automotive odds and s*ds. Eventually Nelson asked why he was getting all these deliveries?

"Why, tha's Nissan Main-dealer isn't tha?"

 

[KevM]

A Barnsley chap is suffering from piles and goes to his local chemist. 'Hast tha got any buttocks cream?' he enquires.
'Aye', says the chemist. 'Dost tha want vanilla or strawberry?'

Okay, finally got it! =D> That took me a while, until I realised the Bowdlermatic had been busy and it was supposed to read 'Hast tha got any rhymes with grass * cream?'

*Although maybe not if you're from Barnsley - what a farce!

 

[Graham Orm]

Is it just me?

 

[Stu_2]

Is it just me?

No

 

[Mike.S]

If I understand KevM correctly it should be read as:

'Have you got any a55 cream?' but because you can't say a55 on the forum ...blah, blah.

 

[pebbles]

:lol: I finally got there - thank you! A55 - was wondering if that was like E45... then it clicked... I dunno - all this pc malarkey certainly makes your brain work harder doesn't it?! :roll:

 

[Graham Orm]

Ah........ Thanks Mike

 

[monkeybiter]

Up here A55 rhymes with MASS, a Barnsley chap would ask for AR5E cream, rhyming with FARCE. Works better.

 

[RossJarvis]

Tha needs't unerstant Queen's English t'understand Barnsley Jokes. Elizabeth 1 not 2!

 

[maltrout512]

If I understand KevM correctly it should be read as:

'Have you got any a55 cream?' but because you can't say a55 on the forum ...blah, blah.

I thought that was a road that ran trough Barnsley. No!