I too admire a well executed limed finish. I've tried most if not all of the commercially available products but fortunately I tested them before committing, because they really don't achieve what I'm looking for. Too glossy, too artificial, just wrong. Maybe the answer is a coat of very wet flat emulsion paint followed by vigorous sanding? Maybe, but I'm pretty confident that the answer to a really good limed finish isn't to be found in a pre-mixed bottle or tin.
I've made quite a few oak tables and like you generally aim for a pale, almost natural look without excessive gloss but with some spillage protection. Here's what i've discovered,
-Matt or semi-matte acryclic varnishes neither darken nor yellow oak's natural colour, they "pop" the grain but preserve the colour. The bad news is that even after being left to harden for many many days they are still a bit soft, so much so that normal household polishing with a cloth effectively burnishes the surface, so it becomes progressively more glossy. Working the surface with wire wool removes the gloss, but then it'll polish back up in a few weeks and usually in quite a patchy, unattractive way.
-Oils (including Osmo and "hard waxes") are all the same in that they all yellow and darken the surface to some extent. They do however provide adequate protection for domestic table surfaces, and a Danish Oil can give a lovely flat finish that ages well but is just that bit too yellow to qualify as perfect to my eye.
-Varnishes and "oil/varnish" mixes are similar, yellowing and darkening a bit more, but delivering a harder surface that can be flattened and then remains matte.
-French polish neither yellows nor darkens, plus it can finished to whatever degree of matte/mirror gloss you want. But unless you're scrupulous with place matts and tablecloths it'll be knackered in a year or two.
Bottom line, after making oak tables for thirty years or more I've still to find the finish I'm really looking for. The closest is probably to leave unfinished and regularly scrub hard! But that's certainly not an "easy care" finish, and you're running the red wine gauntlet every meal!
Good luck.
