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Ode to a table saw


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Established Member
15 Mar 2010
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Oh, I wish I had a table saw,
My cheap-o tools just slip and gnaw.
I spend my days finding lots of ways
To cut straight by hand which just delays
that perfect cut that will amaze.

Oh, I wish I had a table saw,
That perfect line I’ve learned to draw
evades the blades of all my saws.
Mitres too go down the loo
They just refuse to find the glue,
Leaving yawning gaps for all to view.

Oh, I wish I had a table saw,
But there’s not the space around my place,
and the price I face is a disgrace.
‘Worry not’ I say, ‘your mitre-box will save the day’.
Will it heck! and now it’s wrecked, chewed to death by cuts and splits,
I’m throwing tantrums, spits and fits.

Oh, I wish I had a table saw,
I’d take the risks with those cutting discs,
I’d risk my thumbs, perhaps my plums, to be the envy of all my chums.
‘Worry not’ I say, ‘my circular saw will find a way’,
I line it up with a guide, on some plywood far too wide,
And now I stand, just unnerved, surprised to find it cut a curve!
I tried it straight, but too much weight made it slip and slide, burn and swerve.

Oh, I wish I had a table saw,
rip saw, cross-cut, fret-saw, jig-saw,
tenon saw, scroll-saw, new saw, old saw.
I got them all but not the one that cuts so straight,
but I know I’ll have to wait.
I’ll try to learn that it is the man, not his tools,
so off I go, back to school.