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whiskywill

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Paddy and Murphy bought a donkey at the local horse fair. On the way home they had to pass through a low tunnel. When the donkey's ears touched the top of the tunnel it stopped and no amount of pushing or pulling would move it.
Paddy said, "I have an idea. If we cut a couple of grooves in the roof of the tunnel the donkey's ears would be clear and we could walk through." So Paddy went home to fetch a hammer and chisel and a couple of hours of hard work later they walked the donkey through the tunnel.
As they neared the end Murphy said, " I think we have just wasted time cutting grooves in the tunnel roof. The ground is soft so it would have been easier to dig a couple of grooves in the floor".
Don't be silly" replied Paddy, "It's the donkey's ears that are too long not it's legs."
 

Jacob

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Teckel":36vumxn6 said:
So paddy and murphy are welsh??
:roll: :roll:
No but our joker whiskywill is a taff:

Location: Sunny South Wales
 

whiskywill

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Jacob":3dxkdcnx said:
Teckel":3dxkdcnx said:
So paddy and murphy are welsh??
:roll: :roll:
No but our joker whiskywill is a taff:

Location: Sunny South Wales
A mix actually. My mother was born in Dublin to an Irish mother and a Welsh father, who, at the time was a cook in the Irish Free Army.
 

Noel

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Another Paddygate?

Oh well:

John Bradford, a Dublin University student, was on the side of the road hitchhiking on a very dark night and in the midst of a big storm.

The night was rolling on and no car went by. The storm was so strong he could hardly see a few feet ahead of him. Suddenly, he saw a car slowly coming towards him and stopped. John, desperate for shelter and without thinking about it, got into the car and closed the door.. only to realise there was nobody behind the wheel and the engine wasn't on

The car started moving slowly. John looked at the road ahead and saw a bend approaching. Scared, he started to pray, begging for his life. Then, just before the car hit the bend, a hand appeared out of nowhere through the window and turned the wheel. John, paralysed with terror, watched as the hand came through the window, but never touched or harmed him.

Shortly thereafter John saw the lights of a pub appear down the road, so, gathering strength, he jumped out of the car and ran to it. Wet and out of breath, he rushed inside and started telling everybody about the horrible experience he had just had.

A silence enveloped the pub when everybody realised he was crying and.... wasn't drunk.

Suddenly, the door opened, and two other people walked in from the dark and stormy night. They, like John, were also soaked and out of breath. Looking around, and seeing John Bradford sobbing at the bar, one said to the other...

'Look Paddy.....there's that pineapple silly person that got in the car while we were pushing it!'




Paddy just received his 3 pack special edition Olympic condoms. " I think I might try the gold one tonight " he says to his wife. " Why not use the Silver one ? " she replied... " and come second for a change " ....




After having dug to a depth of 10 feet last year, British scientists found traces of copper wire dating back 200 years and came to the conclusion that their ancestors already had a telephone network more than 150 years ago.

Not to be outdone by the Brits, in the weeks that followed, an American archaeologist dug to a depth of 20 feet, and shortly after, a story published in the New York Times: "American archaeologists, finding traces of 250-year-old copper wire, have concluded that their ancestors already had an advanced high-tech communications network 100 years
earlier than the British".

One week later, the Irish Department of Agriculture reported the following:

"After digging as deep as 30 feet near Ballyhaunis, Co Mayo, Mick O'Connor, a self-taught archaeologist, reported that he found absolutely pineapple all.

Mick therefore concluded that 250 years ago, Ireland had already gone wireless."
 
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