- 12 Apr 2019
- Reaction score
Well, if you're going to be all logical about it...Apart from actual blind people who don't see because they can't see of course.
I have a theory about vision and gender: no man can find anything in a kitchen cupboard - it's a well known phenomenon, much decried by women down through the ages. Most men open up the cupboard where they know full well that the cornflakes packet lives, only to be greeted by a vast empty desert of trackless sand and tumbleweed, and perhaps a rattlesnake. Women, on the other hand, can always find anything they want, even from the unmention able depths of their handbags. The reason for this is simple: humans are hunter gatherers, and have specialised so that the men hunt, and the women gather. Women have specialised abilities to differentiate between different sized and coloured objects because of hundreds of thousands of years of evolutionary selection when gathering nuts and berries. Men, on the other hand, have enhanced abilities to see wildebeest on the horizon. Women are useless at it, and you can confirm this by asking any women when she last saw a wildebeest on said horizon - QED.
So, the next time you get any grief because you can't find the small coloured object surrounded by other small coloured objects, point out that you are genetically predisposed to not be able to see whatever it is she is insisting you find for her, and are, in fact, going out to hunt wildebeest. There may well be some in the pub.
My excuse, and I am sticking to it regardless of any encroaching reality, is that I couldn't see the damaged bits of the grinder because they are small and coloured like nuts and berries. The fact that I didn't even look is irrelevant, and not to be brought up in polite company.