Trainee neophyte
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Took me a moment. I think Dad and Bad are synonyms. At least, that is what I am told, repeatedly.
Joke thread
- Thread starter Noel
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Useful odd facts about time:
A microFortnight is approximately 1 second (*)
There are about 10 million Pi seconds in a year.
(*) actually about 1.2 seconds - microFortnights were used in what was a very popular operating system (OpenVMS) back in the day to set the value of the TIMEPROMTWAIT SYSGEN parameter.
A microFortnight is approximately 1 second (*)
There are about 10 million Pi seconds in a year.
(*) actually about 1.2 seconds - microFortnights were used in what was a very popular operating system (OpenVMS) back in the day to set the value of the TIMEPROMTWAIT SYSGEN parameter.
stuart little
Established Member
She's 63, you numpties!
stuart little
Established Member
I wouldn't take that route to Wales, I'd just go 10miles along the A40 to Monmouth!!!!
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
How do you get 63?
stuart little
Established Member
stuart little
Established Member
How do you put an elephant in a fridge?
Open the door & shove it in!
How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
First take out the elephant, then put the giraffe in!
Open the door & shove it in!
How do you put a giraffe in a fridge?
First take out the elephant, then put the giraffe in!
This was nominated "best email of 1997". A telephonic exchange between a hotel guest and room-service, at a hotel in Asia
Room Service: | "Morny. Ruin sorbees" |
Guest: | "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service" |
Room Service: | "Rye..Ruin sorbees..morny! Djewish to odor sunteen??" |
Guest: | "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs" |
Room Service: | "Ow July den?" |
Guest: | "What??" |
Room Service: | "Ow July den?...pry,boy, pooch?" |
Guest: | "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please." |
Room Service: | "Ow July dee bayhcem...crease?" |
Guest: | "Crisp will be fine." |
Room Service: | "Hokay. An San toes?" |
Guest: | "What???" |
Room Service: | "San toes. July San toes?" |
Guest: | "Uhh... I don't think so" |
Room Service: | "No? Judo one toes??" |
Guest: | "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo one toes' means." |
Room Service: | "Toes! toes!...why djew Don Juan toes? Ow bow singlish mopping we bother?" |
Guest: | "Oh, English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine." Yes, an English muffin will be fine." |
Room Service: | "We bother?" |
Guest: | "No. Just put the bother on the side." |
Room Service: | "Wad?" |
Guest: | "I mean butter...just put it on the side." |
Room Service: | "Copy?" |
Guest: | "Sorry???" |
Room Service: | "Copy...tea...mill?" |
Guest: | "Yes. Coffee please, and that's all." |
Room Service: | "One Minnie. Ass ruin torino fee, strangle ache, crease baychem, tossy singlish mopping we bother honey sigh, and copy....rye??" |
Guest: | "Whatever you say." |
Room Service: | "Tendjewberrymud." |
Guest: | "You're welcome." |
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
1997 must have been a lean year for emails.
Apparently, about one in 500 people had email back then. That's 35%, defo.
Apparently, about one in 500 people had email back then. That's 35%, defo.
And i bet the bookcases you made didnt fit either lolOops! Senior moment : She's 67 ! Now who's the numpty? Moi
MorrisWoodman12
Established Member
And distance - a nano light year is about 1 foot (300mm). Nano is a thousandth of a millionth or ten raised to minus nine. In other words light travels 300mm in 1 nSec.
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bushwhaker
Established Member
A tourist was visiting a small village in Newfoundland.
He approached a local person and asked, "What's the quickest way to Marystown?"
The local, scratched his head, "Are ya walkin' er drivin'?" he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving," answered the stranger.
"Good! That's the quickest way."
He approached a local person and asked, "What's the quickest way to Marystown?"
The local, scratched his head, "Are ya walkin' er drivin'?" he asked the stranger.
"I'm driving," answered the stranger.
"Good! That's the quickest way."
So 20x8.4 nano light years of 4x2 should be enough to build a stud wall in my work shop
Now i know how i went forwards instead of backwards simple when you think about it thanks
Having lived there (St. Johns) for a bit, I'm standing up for the Newfies.
Back when I was living there in the early '80s, they were some of the nicest, kindest most helpful folk around.
Newfies get a bad rap from mainland Canada, and unfairly so IMHO. One of the the first things I was asked when I arrived there was:
"What's back and blue and floats in St Johns harbour?"
"A mainlander that tells Newfie jokes..."
I read the other day about the use of Gander airport after 9/11 - the people were amazing.
Doug B
Shy Tot
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