Joke thread
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Nigel Burden
Established Member
Cue seinfeld scene where George took a book into the bathroom and they either made him buy it or wouldn't let him return it (can't remember which).
Doug B
Shy Tot
Yes.
Sachakins
The most wasted of days is one without woodwork
Vegans might be upset....In honour of the other thread about inappropriate jokes, I searched for something that would not offend.
Cozzer
Established Member
"This is just a drill!" yelled the air stewardess.
When you hear the instruction "Brace! Brace!", you must lean forward as far as possible, with your head on your lap."
"BRACE! BRACE!"
"Erm.... your own lap, sir...."
When you hear the instruction "Brace! Brace!", you must lean forward as far as possible, with your head on your lap."
"BRACE! BRACE!"
"Erm.... your own lap, sir...."
mentioned in another thread - instrument maker at Colonial Williamsburg would finish or display a newly made violin and tell the museum patrons:
"look, it's brand new and baroque already!"
The curators/directors request he not make the joke because "it made 18th century people sound foolish".
I thought it was pretty witty!
"look, it's brand new and baroque already!"
The curators/directors request he not make the joke because "it made 18th century people sound foolish".
I thought it was pretty witty!
So I get that a brace is just a drill but do you use laps on drill bits?
Trainee neophyte
Established Member
An old man, a boy, and a donkey were on their way to town. The boy was riding the donkey.
As they went along, they passed a goup of people who remarked it was a shame the old man had to walk while the young boy was riding. The man and boy thought about the criticism and decided maybe the people were right, so they switched places.
Later they passed another group of people who remarked that it was a shame that the old man made the little boy walk. The two travelers decided that they would BOTH walk.
Soon they passed a third group of people who said they were stupid to walk , when they had such a fine donkey to ride. So, the two decided they would both ride the donkey.
The next group of people they passed said that it was AWFUL that the two put such a heavy load on the poor donkey. The old man & boy thought that maybe the people were right, so they decided to carry the donkey.
Soon they came to a river, with a narrow bridge spanning it. As they attempted to cross the bridge, they lost their grip on the animal & it fell into the river and drowned.
The moral of the story ?
If you try to please everyone, you may as well............
kiss your ass goodbye.
Here's another Amazon related joke which is very helpful for two reasons:
https://tinyurl.com/Scotchsawdust
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
Many years ago, we had a shop in Paddington, and the next door shop sold reconditioned electronic test gear. The owner used to pack up his son's soiled disposable nappies in a box, plaster "Fragile" stickers on it, and leave it outside on the pavement.
Well, I say "used to", he probably only did it the one time. Stuff like that can lead to broken windows or worse.
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
Ahh...your pronunciation is baroquen.
John Brown
Freeloading Social media influenza
flying haggis
Established Member
flying haggis
Established Member
Doug B
Shy Tot
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