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Doug B

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Cozzer

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That's funny.
I've been referring to my wife as "my little midget gem" - she's 5 foot and half an inch - for years, but she's never complained....
 

Robbo3

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A man stops into this little backwoods restaurant for lunch, and after finishing his meal he inquires the way to the rest room. He was told that it's around the back of the building. He heads through the back door, finds the outhouse and takes a dung, only to discover there's no toilet paper. But there is a sign on the wall that reads, 'Wipe yourself with your finger, then insert the finger into this hole, and your finger will be cleaned with great attention'

So the man wipes up and sticks his finger through the hole. On the other side is standing a little boy holding a brick in either hand, who claps them together at the sight of the finger poking through. The guy screams in pain, yanks his hand back, and starts sucking on his finger......
 

TRITON

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A man stops into this little backwoods restaurant for lunch, and after finishing his meal he inquires the way to the rest room. He was told that it's around the back of the building. He heads through the back door, finds the outhouse and takes a dung, only to discover there's no toilet paper. But there is a sign on the wall that reads, 'Wipe yourself with your finger, then insert the finger into this hole, and your finger will be cleaned with great attention'

So the man wipes up and sticks his finger through the hole. On the other side is standing a little boy holding a brick in either hand, who claps them together at the sight of the finger poking through. The guy screams in pain, yanks his hand back, and starts sucking on his finger......
I heard that one in primary school over 40 years ago
 

Jameshow

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I heard that one in primary school over 40 years ago
Taking of which...

Daughter ....dad what's your name..... James ..

What's the opposite of yes...... no....

What's in my hands ...... Nothing......

Old ones are best!!!!
 
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