• We invite you to join UKWorkshop.
    Members can turn off viewing Ads!

Joke thread

UKworkshop.co.uk

Help Support UKworkshop.co.uk:

Cordy

Established Member
Joined
1 Dec 2014
Messages
1,075
Reaction score
200
Location
Wigan
Channel 4 are looking for people to take part in a documentary about people who made the most of the summer holiday by camping in their back gardens.

It's being directed by Tentin Quarantino.
 

flying haggis

Established Member
Joined
7 Mar 2009
Messages
1,267
Reaction score
427
Location
norfolk
Unshameslessly nicked from elsewhere.........



Back in the days of tanners and bobs,

When Mothers had patience and Fathers had jobs.

When football team families wore hand me down shoes,

And T.V gave only two channels to chose.



Back in the days of three penny bits,

when schools employed nurses to search for your nits.

When snowballs were harmless; ice slides were permitted

and all of your jumpers were warm and hand knitted.



Back in the days of hot ginger beers,

when children remained so for more than six years.

When children respected what older folks said,

and pot was a thing you kept under your bed.


Back in the days of Listen with Mother,

when neighbours were friendly and talked to each other.

When cars were so rare you could play in the street.

When Doctors made house calls; Police walked the beat.



Back in the days of Milligan's Goons,

when butter was butter and songs all had tunes.

It was dumplings for dinner and trifle for tea,

and your annual break was a day by the sea.



Back in the days of Dixon's Dock Green,

Crackerjack pens and Lyons ice cream.

When children could freely wear National Health glasses,

and teachers all stood at the FRONT of their classes



Back in the days of rocking and reeling,

when mobiles were things that you hung from the ceiling.

When woodwork and pottery got taught in schools,

and everyone dreamed of a win on the pools.



Back in the days when I was a lad,

I can't help but smile for the fun that I had.

Hopscotch and roller skates; snowballs to lob.

Back in the days of tanners and bobs
 

pidgeonpost

Established Member
Joined
16 Feb 2006
Messages
150
Reaction score
54
Location
Forest of Dean, Gloucestershire
Thanks, I didn’t realise what it was! What a very simple life I must’ve led ha ha
You are not alone! Watching a programme about the swinging sixties, free love hippies etc., my daughter said 'So what did you do in 60's dad?'.
I said 'Three shifts, 6-2, 2-10, 10-6'.
Such a tragic waste.
 

Concizat

Established Member
Joined
31 Jan 2020
Messages
30
Reaction score
15
Location
Romford
You are not alone! Watching a programme about the swinging sixties, free love hippies etc., my daughter said 'So what did you do in 60's dad?'.
I said 'Three shifts, 6-2, 2-10, 10-6'.
Such a tragic waste.
Old Bill in the Met. by any chance?
 

Peterm1000

Guest
Joined
18 Dec 2018
Messages
342
Reaction score
118
Location
UK
I was going to retire early, but my wife invested all our money pasta. She says it was worth every penne.
 

Sandyn

Established Member
Joined
19 Jul 2020
Messages
770
Reaction score
570
Location
Scotland
I bought some of that invisible tape this morning. Got home, took it out of the pack, now I can't find it:mad:
 

Cozzer

Established Member
Joined
13 Jun 2017
Messages
47
Reaction score
54
Location
Derbyshire
I bought a dictionary the other day.
Out of interest, I looked up the word "dictionary".
The explanation was "This is one".....
 
  • Like
Reactions: AES

Phil Pascoe

Established Member
UKW Supporter
Joined
29 Jan 2012
Messages
20,959
Reaction score
1,394
Location
Shaft City, Mid Cornish Desert
I remember being about thirteen, in school in an English lesson. A lad put his hand up and said please sir, what does obnoxious mean? The reply - Obnoxious? Obnoxious is what you are, Williams - look it up!
 

Concizat

Established Member
Joined
31 Jan 2020
Messages
30
Reaction score
15
Location
Romford
Nothing so exciting I'm afraid - working as a computer operator! :confused:
What, you had computers in the 60s?.
All we had in the Met at that time were teleprinters and telephone switchboards the size of an American fridge that you plugged cords in to receive or answer calls:eek:
 
Top