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Robbo3

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Podraig is walking past the barn, spots Shamus dressed as a Chippendale gyrating around a large Massey Ferguson
"What the heck are yuse up to Shamus" he says
Shamus, red faced and perspiring.
" I have a fierce lust upon me fer that new barmaid, but she doesn't seem to notice me at all.
I went to the doctor to get some advice, and he told me to try doing something sexy to a tractor"
 

mikej460

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During a pub quiz, I sneakily called my wife and asked 'Which is the largest state in the USA? Your sisters good on geography'
'Alaska' she replied. I said 'Well, hurry up, there's 8 pints riding on this..'
 

Cabinetman

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If I had been quicker with my camera/phone I would’ve got a picture just like that of an Arctic reversing out of a no entry and on the side of the lorry it said " we know the way "
 

Sandyn

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Last night, my wife looked into my eyes and said; if anything happened to me, she would be totally lost without me, then paused ..... As she was speaking I was thinking awwww how sweet.......she continues, so can you make sure you put the instructions for the navigator somewhere I can find them!!
Last I saw her, I could hear muffled instructions coming from her backside..."Turn left at the end of the corridor"
 
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