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Stan

stupid boy!
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An elderly vicar died and went to heaven. At the pearly gates, St Peter asked him to stand aside as a VIP was expected any time. Being a mild-mannered gentleman, he stood to one side and waited patiently.

After some hours the vicar was getting a bit restless. The gates then gently swung open, and a huge motorcycle with a loud exhaust cruised up, ridden by a teenaged lad in black leathers. He rode through the gates, did a wheelie and roared off. St Peter then approached the vicar.

St P: You can come in now he's arrived.

Vicar: How can he be more important than me? I have been a faithful servant for many a year.

St P: He's only had that bike for two weeks, and in that time he has put the fear of God into more people than you have in the last forty years!
 

Just4Fun

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I don't know why Belarus bothered investing in a fighter jet. If they provided a coach service from Minsk airport to the center of Riga that was cheaper than the one from Riga airport Ryanair would divert permanently.
 

Cordy

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If you watch 'Jaws' backwards....
it is a heart-warming story about a Shark who gives arms and legs to disabled people
 

Phil Pascoe

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A builder I know went to a merchant's, and was told to go out into the yard and speak to Thrush. He said OK, I know who you mean, but why is called Thrush? Is it because he sings? No, came the reply, it's because he an irritating c***. :)
 
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