Joke Thread II

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Pedronicus

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morqthana

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Best pub for food I ever went to (ordinary pubs I mean), was off of Princess Rd in Manchester, after the landlord's wife (who'd been doing the cooking) left him, and rather than lose the lunchtime trade he provided plates and cutlery, and let you bring in your own food from the local chippies/Indians/Chinese/pizza/burgers/kebabs/etc.
 

bushwhaker

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A 60 years old billionaire marries a hot 25 year old girl...
After honeymoon they throw a party celebrating their marriage...
After a few drinks, billionaire's friends want to know the secret of how he landed 25 yo hottie..
"It's simple" billionaire boasts... "I faked my age"
"Yes, but even for a 40/45 years old guy...she is sensational, what age btw did you tell you are?" A friend asks.
With a smile on his lips billionaire responds "85 years old"
 

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