..OK, the title is actually a scenario - it's not my scenario. I'm worried about quality of life and doing meaningful things while I'm alive.
I have a relative who has spent his life generating money and investing it into an absolutely bonkers absurd amount while he lives on the state pension level of income. He spent decades in some odd mode of worrying about becoming poor somehow (50 of him could live on his means and be comfortable - maybe more). He was raised that way, but for some reason, making the pile bigger increases his satisfaction. He wanted to give the money to his kids, but they're already set for life, too (thanks to imitating dad) - and they haven't met his criteria for being absurdly enriched - having children and creating generational wealth and comfort that he sought.
So in the last two or three years, he's suddenly realized that his money will outlive him by a large amount and he's horribly concerned about what will happen with the money, and whether or not he'll think the spending of it is approvable by him (as in, he would like to see people have chances to take the profession that he took in - a branch of applied mathematics as well as automation and computing applied to it - that would be OK. Lots of other things wouldn't).
I've never known him to worry about anything but accumulation, so this is a funny thing and I always torture him with "if I were you, I would worry about what I wanted out of the rest of my life, which could be short at your age, and I guarantee if you do some basic legwork and line up where your money is going (none is going to me, that's for sure!!), I guarantee if you don't let it bother you while you're alive, it won't bother you while you're dead". He laughs nervously - as if he can't make the rational step to knowing that he won't notice anything at dirt temperature.
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Enter scenario 2 - my MIL has a plot in a cemetery. It was purchased probably 40 years ago with her husband. They switched churches and now she doesn't love the overlook that the cemetery sees. She's very worried that people will think she's an silly person for having such a plot after she dies. My wife is into this kind of thing, too - worried about being embarrassed (I am a constant source of embarrassment for her, whether I'm disagreeing with her in public or not wearing the right clothes for the occasion, etc). I ask my MIL - what does your plot matter? It's a nice church. There's a highway in view a mile away where it used to be rolling hills, but you won't be able to see it. Within a few years, the people walking through the cemetery will have no clue who you are, and the other people you're afraid of passing judgement are thinking about themselves 99.5% of the time, anyway. They're not going to make the effort to pass judgement.
She says "they will think I'm an silly person for having a plot that overlooks a valley with an interstate". She's very concerned about that and I cannot convince her that she won't be able to feel embarrassment.
Why do people care so much about things like that unless there's a meaningful consequence (e.g., the constant worry that we will die and someone will get our tools for half price at the cost of our spouse - if our spouse is materially affected by that - mine probably won't be - then it's an issue. If they won't be, then we should think about ourselves selling all of their decorations around the house - would we care? No. Why do we wind ourselves up about stuff like that? I don't at this point - knowing I won't be here, I don't care if whoever is left burns all of it. I just hope it's not a burden (and it won't be, because my spouse will give it all away to a haulage firm).
