How do you give 100%

[MARK.B.]

What does it mean to give 100% at work?
What does it mean to give more than 100%?
We have all been to meetings where some one wants you to give over 100% effort?
We have all been to meetings where someone has given that 100% and over.
How is this achieved and can some one work out who is giving that 100% effort and who is not?

Scientist have come up with a formula to help work out how much effort is being achieved.

if a,b,c,d,e,f,g,h,i,j,k,l,m,n,o,p,q,r,s,t,u,v,w,x,y,z

is represented with 1,2,3,4,5,6,7,8,9,10,11,12,13,14,,15,16,17,18,19,20,21,22,23,24,25,26

Then the following is easy to work out

H-A-R-D-W-O-R-K = 8+1+18+4+23+15+18+11= 98%

K-N-O-W-L-E-D-G-E= 11+14+15+23+12+5+4+7+5 = 96%

But

A-T-T-I-T-U-D-E = 1+20+20+9+20+21+4=5 = 100%

and

B-U-L-L-S-H-I-T= 2+21+12+12+19+8+9+20 = 103%

AND look how far ass kissing will get you

A-S-S-K-I-S-S-I-N-G = 1+19+19+11+9+19+19+9+14+7= 127%

so to conclude, with mathematical certainty, that while hard work and knowledge will get you close and attitude will get you there, its the ******** and the asskissing that will put you over the top.


P.S next time you are in a serious meeting and someone says they give more than 100% effort try not to laugh because you now know how they got there.

 

[MMUK]

:lol:

 

[Jamesc]

Nice one, I can sooo relate to it

 

[themackay]

Unfortuanatly so true

 

[Preston]

Very good!

 

[ChrisR]

Very good, never have more accurate words been spoken/written. =D> :lol:

Take care.

Chris R.

 

[joethedrummer]

I think it only works below the age of 65,, "cos I just put in RETIRED an" got a score of 75,,,,that"s got to be wrong.
Just had loads of laughs putting in occupations,,,

 

[Cheshirechappie]

After many years of working in a large and rather heirachical organisation, all I can say is, "Many a true word spoken in jest".

 

[RossJarvis]

Bearing in mind that the Education Secretary wants all schools to be "above average", I think we can see where the problem might be coming from.

http://www.leftfootforward.org/2013/10/ ... -averages/

 

[pip1954]

hi all i have never met a boss who does any wear near 100% one rule for them and one for the rest :lol:
now where have i heard that before o yer MPs (hammer)
roll on retirement :mrgreen:
pip :deer

 

[RossJarvis]

hi all i have never met a boss who does any wear near 100% one rule for them and one for the rest :lol:
now where have i heard that before o yer MPs (hammer)
roll on retirement :mrgreen:
pip :deer

Yes they do, 110% of their time in meetings, 47% of their time telling everyone else what to do, and 94% of their time counting their money!! The last 33% of their time must be worrying about whether anyone will find out how c**p they are in general and at maths in particular.