Honesty is best policy

[Hardwood66]

My name is russell James Evans age19. I suffer from agoraphobia and depression and I haven't told anyone before,and my therapist said I need to tell people who I am and not hide from it any longer so here you go. The only thing that gives me relief is working with wood and always has since I was young . My mother can tell when I'm stressed and normally tells me to make things because it make me happy and calms my fast thinking mind.

Russ


If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic

 

[marcros]

What woodwork do you do Russell ? Always interesting to hear from fellow enthusiasts- you will probably find that many of us find therapy (and frustration) in working with wood. It is an opportunity to forget the world, and concentrate on that perfect dovetail, perfect bit of turning, perfect finish, or just something that you can stand back and be proud of.

 

[Hardwood66]

Joinery and cabinet making is what I did at college but I like making furniture


If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic

 

[James C]

Sounds good, what kind of work do you find calms you down? If I have had a stressful day with kids at school there is something quite soothing about serenely planing some wood.

 

[thomvic]

Russel, your ailments are difficult for non-sufferers to understand but I know they are real and just as debilitating as more apparent illnesses. You have my deepest sympathy. Your therapist has, I believe, given you excellent advice and if your woodworking helps then go to it! You are still young and can come to grips with your condition with a lot of effort and continued therapy. Your mother is a wise lady - she is also your best friend though it may not always seem so. Take notice of her. Keep posting here. I know you will gets lots of help and support. I wish you Good Luck and Good Health.

Richard

 

[MickCheese]

Russell try a google search for Clare Weeks. She is an Australian theropist from a few years back and, for some, her books and audio recordings have really helped.

You clearly have to find the right solution that works for you but she is worth considering.

Best of luck.

Mick

 

[gregmcateer]

Russell,
Good to hear from you and well done for 'speaking' out about your feelings.
As said above, please do keep posting herre and just asking / telling as you see fit - the guys here are a great bunch and can often help with all sorts of problems, big, small, wood-related or otherwise.

When you feel ready, post up some of your work and I promise you will come away smiling broadly that you have done so, and even more broadly when you read the kind and helpful comments from your fellow woodworkers.

Good luck and keep making each day a greater day than the day before.

Greg

 

[pip1954]

hi russel
i know how hard it must be to speak up as it feels like people will judge you, i know from my own experience,i to have been suffering from depression for a few years ,
i to was to do more of what you enjoy and less of what you don't enjoy by my counsellor,
i still don't see a future but at least i am still here, wood turning has helped me a lot but am becoming obsessed with it,
but like you say it helps forget and slow the world down.
keep posting and let us see what you are up to.
all the best russel
pip

 

[woodbloke]

What woodwork do you do Russell ? Always interesting to hear from fellow enthusiasts- you will probably find that many of us find therapy (and frustration) in working with wood. It is an opportunity to forget the world, and concentrate on that perfect dovetail, perfect bit of turning, perfect finish, or just something that you can stand back and be proud of.

Good to hear from you and I agree with the above sentiments. Working with wood is a time to push the cares of your world onto the back burner and concentrate on the timber and what it can offer you...often it's immense frustration, but it you persevere and learn from what's happening in front of your eyes, the rewards are fantastic and eventually you'll be able to make something, stand back and think...'Hells teeth...did i really make that?" It's a good feeling - Rob

 

[Benchwayze]

Welcome Russell. Woodwork has always calmed me down. Although I do keep a big block of Maple to use as a 'striking-block', for when I hit the 'wrong nail', and need to hammer something to smithereens!

Just keep making what you like to make.

 

[SammyQ]

Russ, the depression can be a real bitch, eh? It doesn't have to be in-your-face-easy-to-spot feeling bad; the subtle stuff can creep up on you and you only realise it's been there after it's gone. Keep your pecker (morale, not the other thing!) up and keep reading and posting here. They (with ONE notable exception) are as nice a bunch of timber-heads as you could meet anywhere. If you've got a question, sling it in and 'the gang' will not see you short. As you get used to us, expect a bit of teasing and banter - but....we expect to get it straight back!!

Sam

 

[gus3049]

Hi Russell,

Welcome to the forum. I'm now pretty ancient but for half of my life I suffered from panic attacks and just KNEW I was about to die. So far, it seems I was wrong.

As with so many things, its the thinking about the problem all the time that makes it worse so I definitely agree that keeping occupied and concentrating on other things is the way to go. I keep busy, partly because I want to and partly because I need to.

Can you let us see some of your woodwork? Its good to share and get a response and sometimes hints on how to improve. We can all improve, (well most of us :wink and, as already said, 99.9% of the guys on here are a joy to chat with and exchange views and expertise with.

 

[Hardwood66]

Heres a box I made today




If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic

 

[gus3049]

Heres a box I made today

Interesting looking wood, what is it? Box looks great, how big is it? I can't see if the corners are butt jointed or mitred. Whichever, the finish looks pretty good.

 

[Hardwood66]

Burr poplar and there just but joints


If life gives you melons you may be dyslexic

 

[gregmcateer]

Russell,

That's a lovely box!

You certainly gott a bright future if you're making stuff like that at your age - Keep up the great work and keep posting it on here, to make us old gits jealous!!

Greg

 

[Steve Blackdog]

Russell, good on you for opening up this subject.

1 in 4 people will suffer with some kind of mental illness at some stage in their life. I know how people don't get it when they find out someone has depression. People telling you to cheer up is not that helpful. It is a nasty illness and anything you can do to lighten the load, so much the better.

I like this list of what to say to people with depression from www.DepressionAlliance.Org

DO SAY
1. You're not alone in this.
2. You are important to me.
3. Do you want a hug?
4. You are not going mad.
5. We are not on this earth to see through one another, but to see one another through.
6. When all this is over, I'll still be here, and so will you.
7. I can't really understand what you are feeling, but I can offer my compassion.
8. I'm not going to leave you or abandon you.
9. I love you (if you mean it).
10. I'm sorry that you're in so much pain. I am not going to leave you. I am going to take care of myself, so you don't need to worry that your pain might hurt me.

DON'T SAY
1. There's always someone worse off than you are.
2. No one ever said that life was fair.
3. Stop feeling sorry for yourself.
4. So, you're depressed. Aren't you always?
5. Try not to be so depressed.
6. It's your own fault.
7. I think your depression is a way of punishing us.
8. Haven't you grown tired of all this me, me, me stuff yet?
9. Believe me, I know how you feel. I was depressed once for several days.
10. Have you tried chamomile tea?

Today was a good day for me. I spent two hours weeding the flower beds, which has the same effect on me as mindfulness meditation. I get lost in the task and somehow that puts my head in the right mood for the morning. My wife came to fetch me in the shed at 6:30 this evening. I had been their working on my guitar project since 2:00 pm and hadn't seen the time go.

I think distraction from the outside world is sometimes very good for us.

If ever you are feeling low, you will always find someone on here to 'talk' to.

Best wishes

Steve

 

[woodbloke]

Sometimes I have a bad day, or lets say a day when I just feel really down and loose all confidence but there's one sure antidote. I get on my cycle, and go for a good blast into town to see...

...the cathedral. Standing underneath the spire and looking up never fails to bring a smile on :wink: Does it for me - Rob

 

[gus3049]

Sometimes I have a bad day, or lets say a day when I just feel really down and loose all confidence but there's one sure antidote. I get on my cycle, and go for a good blast into town to see...

...the cathedral. Standing underneath the spire and looking up never fails to bring a smile on :wink: Does it for me - Rob

You live in a beautiful place Rob. Whenever I was in the area, I used to detour to see the cathedral - wonderful building. Certainly raised the spirits, even for us non-believers.

 

[woodbloke]

You live in a beautiful place Rob. Whenever I was in the area, I used to detour to see the cathedral - wonderful building. Certainly raised the spirits, even for us non-believers.

I'm not a serious Christian as such, but for me, there's something magical about that building...it never fails to have the same effect every time I see it. For example, I had a really cr@p day on Monday (don't know why) and SWIMBO and I drove round the ring road in the evening to get to Tescos. You can see the cathedral and spire from the road and by the time we'd got to the college to turn off down the Southampton Rd, there was a big smile all over me face

No1 son lives and works in Londres and can be a bit dismissive of Salisbury (his term for it is Smallbury) but when he's here and we're in town (especially Christmas Day morning) we always, without fail, have to go and see the cathedral - Rob