Have you thought of going to China for you holiday?

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Chrispy

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If you have this may help you.
Direct Translation From Chinese To English!!!



The following are extracts from translations into English found in Chinese travel brochures.

+++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++++



Getting There:

Our representative will make you wait at the airport. The bus to the hotel runs along the lake shore. Soon you will feel pleasure in passing water. You will know that you are getting near the hotel, because you will go round the bend. The manager will await you in the entrance hall. He always tries to have intercourse with all new guests.



The hotel:

This is a family hotel, so children are very welcome. We of course are always pleased to accept adultery. Highly skilled nurses are available in the evenings to put down your children.

Guests are invited to conjugate in the bar and expose themselves to others. But please note that ladies are not allowed to have their babies in the bar.

We organize social games, so no guest is ever left alone to play with them self.



The Restaurant:

Our menus have been carefully chosen to be ordinary and unexciting. At dinner, our quartet will circulate from table to table, and fiddle with you.



Your Room:

Every room has excellent facilities for your private parts. In winter, every room is on heat. Each room has a balcony offering views of outstanding obscenity.

You will not be disturbed by traffic noise, since the road between the hotel and the lake is used only by pederasts.



Your bed has been made in accordance with local tradition. If you have any other ideas please ring for the chambermaid. Please take advantage of her.

She will be very pleased to squash your shirts, blouses and underwear. If asked, she will also squeeze your trousers.



Above all:

When you leave us at the end of your holiday, you will have no hope. You will struggle to forget it."
 
:lol: :lol: Yes I have been there a few times and can confirm that their translations are a little unusual to say the least! :lol: One that springs to mind is the translation for a tumble dryer, 'little ray of sunshine on the wall' :lol: There is also a trend for shop signs to read in 'chinglish' and one in Beijing I remember well stated 'Good family happy super shop market' Good job the shop was a large one to fit that lot on. :lol:
 
mailee":q98oxepe said:
:lol: :lol: Yes I have been there a few times and can confirm that their translations are a little unusual to say the least!

But I found that friendliness and service were (as one might expect) superb.

A most enjoyable holiday.

BugBear
 
"Genuine" near misses from people struggling with English are a long-established source of humour. Your examples reminded me of Gerard Hoffnung's famous "letters from Tyrolean landlords" back in the 1950s - for anyone who doesn't know it already it's well worth a listen - his timing is brilliant!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5iHCMwA7n7I

(You'll need to allow some extra time for his famous story of the unlucky bricklayer and the barrel...)
 
You are right Bugbear, they are very friendly and helpful. just about everyone I met there wanted to speak to me in English and I hardly had a chance to use the 'little' mandarin I know. I lost count of the amount of meals we were invited to by everyone from the Mayor to the humble student. I love the place. :D
 
Having Been there for work once all I can say is it is an amazing country with friendly people and an amazing culture :D Cheers Richard
 
The places in China other posters have visited, must be completely different to the ones I went to. Have been there several times for work, found it a place I want to avoid like the plague. Strange bureaucracy and corruption.
 
(You'll need to allow some extra time for his famous story of the unlucky bricklayer and the barrel...)

"... at this point I lost my presence of mind." Common saying in our household :)

I have a treasured copy of Hoffnung's Symphony Orchestra, including my two favourites, the Cymbals and the Organist:

hoffnung_organist.gif


:)
 
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