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Anonymous

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I was having trouble with my computer. So I called Harold the computer guy, to come over. Harold clicked a couple of buttons and solved the problem.

He gave me a bill for a minimum service call. As he was walking away, I called after him, "So, what was wrong?"
He replied, "It was an ID ten T error."
I didn't want to appear stupid, but nonetheless inquired, "An, ID ten T error? What's that .. in case I need to fix it again?"
Harold grinned.... "Haven't you ever heard of an ID ten T error before?"
"No," I replied.
"Write it down," he said, "and I think you'll figure it out."?

So I wrote down ...... I D 1 0 T
I used to like Harold.
:p :p :p :shock:
 

RogerS

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Hi rodgera and welcome to the forum.

At least you didn't get told, as one poor lady did, by the helpdesk agent who, on learning that she still had the original packing case, told her to repack the computer and send it back as she was too stupid to use it.

Happens to us all. This very afternoon I'd been writing a user guide with various screen shots included. In the middle of typing I'd got called away for a couple of hours and on my return became convinced that my laptop had been visited by a virus as all attempts to close the window failed. :oops:

Roger
 

PowerTool

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Years ago,when the Wilton chemical site was still all owned by ICI,they had a problem with one of the new (at the time) computer control panels for operating one of the production plants.
They had to call out a computer technician from a third-party firm (as it was all too new for their own staff) - something like £150 call-out and £120/hour.
Computer technician turned up,disappeared behind the control panel,emerged some minutes later..

Plant manager: "well,do you know what's wrong with it ?"

Technician: "yes..the f**king f**ker's f**ked !"


Apparently,the look on the managers face was priceless :lol:


Andrew
 

devonwoody

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Rodgera.

Welcome to the forum (as no one else was polite enough to do so :D )

Any more jokes like that one are welcome.
 

SammyQ

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Wotcher RODGERA!!! Welcome to the sawdust world.




As a practicing teacher - you know the ones who have the same working conditions as prison warders, without the 'danger' money - I'm subject to "third party" computer support. They provided a copy of XP for every workstation. A copy of XP that has every driver stripped out. That will not permit the continuing use of one's long-acquaintance, faithful printer and scanner that have earned the right to be on the Christmas card list....WHY? So that they may charge £60 plus VAT for a call-out fee, WITH NO GUARANTEE THAT THEY CAN INSTALL THE CORRECT DRIVERS, DESPITE ME HOLDING THE CD'S WITH DRIVERS IN FRONT OF THEIR NOSES. And we are paying tax that in part funds this cowboy empire? What absolutely cerebrally dysfunctional, inbred, Richard Cranium of a Civil Servant thought that one up? I'll give him ID10T...via a wooden enema with the hot end downwards so that he can't pull it out.



Oh, do you know, a rant like that does you good! Must have another one same time next year....
 

LyNx

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Welcome to the forum

I have the same problem here...... "my printers not working" - "i can't do any work". So she sits there with her hands crossed moaning that she can't work because her printers not working. To make it worse, she even turns the computer OFF because the printers not working, and still sits there......

....i get the call 20 minutes later that the printer still isn't working, so i run upstairs . . turn ON the power, and the printer works....

Never mind the hundreds of jobs that can be done by our receptionist but because the printer isn't working . . end of days!!! :evil: :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :twisted: :evil: :twisted: :evil:

90% of computer problems start from the chair and end at the keyboard

Andy
 

devonwoody

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I recall I had an earlier computer that played up, so I called in an engineer from a local newspaper advert which said no result no fee. After he had spent 2 hours and it still would not work (system restore) I started to feel very sorry for the poor chap so I tactfully got him off the property and pushed £10 in his pocket. System restore never did work again on that computer.
 

aldel

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For all the computer problems that I am called to look at, there is one fault that occurs above all others. The fault is caused by the nut.
The nut on the end of the keyboard.

aldel :D :D
 

RogerS

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..or the management. I was project managing a large installation at a wellknown Northern building society. The client just wasn't listening to our advice on best practice. Their IT department knew better..hey, what's new?

We were having a lot of teething software problems developed by the inhouse IT dept which resulted in the computers crashing frequently. The operators were told to call the help desk who invariably said 'sorry ..reboot'.

So over time the operators stopped bothering to call the help desk and simply rebooted the computers themselves. So the volume of calls to the help desk went dramatically down and so management were very happy as they thought the faults had gone away. Until the customer complaints started flooding in.

So plan B was to ask the operators to reboot but to log the calls. Over time they gradually stopped doing even that...all apart from one conscientious wee soul who religiously logged all her faults. So managements interpretation of the events was that, as no-one else was having any problems (of course they were - just not logging them), it must be her computer. So they replaced her computer. But still she continued to have problems and diligently logged them.

'She must need retraining' said management. So, much to her embarassment, they sent her off to repeat her training. When she came back, she said to herself 'sod this, I'm not going to log these calls. Too much grief'....and Lo, management did say, 'See ...told you she needed retraining'.
 

Scrit

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A couple of "gems" from my time in the dim and distant past working for one of the blue chip companies in the UK:-

I had the "joy" of being involved in a user support unit for this particular business where at management insistence we developed a form of shorthand for fault statistic reporting. This resulted in error descriptions such as HDF (hard drive failure), TXF (telecom failure), etc. In due course we added one of our own which continued being reported in meetings for several months before any one dared ask what an RTFM failure was. It stood for "Read The Fl*min' Manual"...... Ever since I've used the term when dealing with certain individuals.

At the same business our users had some interesting approaches to handling a crisis. I remember being rung by one site manager at around 8am one morning to be asked if it was normal for smoke to be coming out of the back of the computer cabinet (this was in the days of distributed mini computers, so quite a BIG cabinet). I was about to ask him to turn it off and apply the extinguisher/fire brigade when he said, "No, hold on a minute, it's not smoking any more --- yes, there's now definitely flames coming out of the cabinet. Do you think I should switch it off?" :shock:

The final story comes from a different organization, but one with a similar ethos. At one particular site we needed to install a machine but there was nowhere we could use as the site survey had been done on the wrong building - done a few weeks before a move to a new office block where inevitably somebody had forgotten the need to install this machine. The site i/c came up with a solution. There was a "dead end" on one of the office block corridors which had the necessary power/telecoms/air conditioning and space to be made into a small computer room - they'd put in a new wall to turn it into a room and all we needed to do was wheel the computer in and connect it up. Our engineering guys duly arrived, but no wall was forthcoming. The builders were running a couple of days late. So the engineers were instructed to install the machine and we loaded it up with software and got it all working. Next day the builders arrived and put in the wall taking exceptional care not to create any dust - it was a solid stud wall without any doors....... :? :lol:

I sometimes wonder with all this free entertainment why I ever left IT for a living.

Scrit
 

martyn2

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:D welcome to the mad, mad world of well you will see for yourself,

here is one for you. An angry user :x on the phone to the helpdesk " i'v been pressing the help key on the keyborad for 2 hours and no one has called :twisted:

did'nt stop laughing for an hour

martyn
 

RogerS

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The BBC had some new sound studios installed in a large building in Manchester. When the new Neve sound desk arrived they discovered that it now came all pre-assembled and so in one l..o..n...g piece of equipment. It would not go round the corners of the corridors..or in the lift...or up the stairs.

Prior to that in another new studio, that version of the desk had come in bits and assembled on site. But no-one had communicated the design change to the planning engineers :lol:

The solution was to hire a crane, take out the long plate glass window on the third floor and crane the desk through the hole!
 

Scrit

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Roger Sinden":ltxvye5w said:
...The client just wasn't listening to our advice on best practice. Their IT department knew better..hey, what's new?
Yeah, the "we have a system syndrome"? There was a certain well known large pan-European computer manufacturer who went through no less than 9 development software releases before someone realised that the COMMS software, blown into PROMs to make it more secure, had stopped working. Our complaints weren't taken into consideration because the PROMs were an engineering problem, not an applications problem and the system said that we couldn't notify hardware errors because we were developing on a software simulator...... :lol:

Having talked to engineers over the years, there seem to be as many c*ck-*p anecdotes in their areas of expertise as in the realms of IT. All of which leads me to wonder about exactly how well Sizewell B works, or for that matter the future Royal Navy MS Windows system vessels will ever blue screen and core dump if action stations is sounded?

Scrit
 

Les Mahon

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And another true one

"It says press any key to continue but I don't have an any key on my keyboard" ](*,)

Les
 
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