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Flooding in Cornwall

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Alf

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Hiya Mike,

Thanks for the concern, but no, my feet are dry. Pretty scary pics from Boscastle though. :shock:

Cheers, Alf
 

Alf

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Yeah, well... Thought I'd spoken too soon last night and early this morning to be honest. :oops: Some flooding a lot closer to home, and an almighty thunderstorm over our heads this a.m. followed by rain that made you wonder if him-upstairs had let the bath overflow. :shock: Unlike Boscastle and co it didn't sit over the top of us though; just slightly worrying for a bit. Tsk. If only I'd known I could have had the custom ark-building business already to go by now... :wink:

Cheers, Alf
 

Alf

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Right, all I need now is my cubit rod and about 1000 cubic feet of gopher wood and I'm all set...

<cut to "Ark-u-like", Fore Street, somewhere in Cornwall. A camper van floats past with 6 ducklings following behind, mistaking it for their mother. (The local duck optician having already been swept away)>

Customer: 'Scuse me? Miss?
Ark builder to the stars: Who you calling miss? That's Ms to you, chum.
<ABTTS tucks pencil behind ear>
ABTTS What can I do you for, squire? I should tell you now, we're right out of gopher wood. I sent the lad to gopher some and 'e ain't come back yet. I could do you a lovely bee-jou 4 berth for the family; ensuite, stalls for pets, elderly relatives, and two of each animal that walketh upon the earth. Pigeons is very popular for olive branch recovery these days. Can't get doves for love or money. It's a sham' Ham couldn't be here to show you the dee-lux model, but we're washed off our feet at the moment...

<camera pans away from "Ark-u-like" to reveal scripwriter furiously tapping away at a keyboard with her nose - due to the canvas jacket restricting arm movement. Walls are, naturally, padded...>

Cheers, Alf
Right out of dried frog - couldn't you guess? :roll:
 

andrewm

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Alf":32n87wl7 said:
Pretty scary pics from Boscastle though. :shock:

Cheers, Alf
... and for anyone still wondering where Boscastle is this map from the BBC shows that it is in Cornwall and that the Independent State of Cornwall is somewhere west of England. Passports please.

Of course, I'm sure that Alf knows that already. :D

 
A

Anonymous

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Midnight i think alf must get it on prescription by now :lol:
 

Alf

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<Once again we find ourselves in the waterproofed premises of "Ark-u-like". A newly painted sign proudly proclaims "By Appointment to HRH The Prince of Whales". The owner is arguing at length over the 'phone>

ABTTS: I don't care how many wild haggis you need to accomodate, I can't get it to you any sooner, Jock. Yeah, well, same to you with kilts on.

<The ABTTS hangs up, disgruntled, and turns to the gopher>

ABTTS: Well lad, that went well. Pass me the shellac will you? It's early yet, so just a finger for now...

<Panning away we see the scripwriter living life through her characters, and carefully deciding between a garnet-shellac-on-the-rocks or sparkling French polish before taking a spare five minutes to pass a couple of A-levels...>

KIDS! Drinking shellac is not allowed. Only very silly dried frog addicts and Ark builders can take the side effects <pause while eyeball wildly revolves>.

Cheers, Alf :D

Who'll try to remember to take the medication today... :oops:
 

Alf

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Taffy Turner":1b8yuud9 said:
It would have to waterproof and long lasting......
Oh I dunno. Forty days and forty nights? Not that long lasting (and if it fails, well your money back, squire. If you claim in person of course.) Probably more important for it to be quick drying... :?

Cheers, Alf
 

Midnight

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Who'll try to remember to take the medication today...
HM Government Health Warning...

Over-exposure to nickel plated ferrous oxide can have seriously detrimental effects on your marbles..
 
A

Anonymous

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GOOD NEWS!

England have won a gold medal in the white water rafting.

Two blokes from Cornwall won it in a white Transit van :D
 

Adam

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Midnight":2ijqnxb3 said:
Alf

you're not cought in that mess I hope....??
Did a U-turn on the way down to the village. Postie coming the other way said "'Tis a bit flooded, you won't get through, best turn back now. (as though going back was any better than going on :roll: ). Anyway, we returned to Tintagel (where we were staying) and watched through the binoculars and listened on the radio. Then moved to the other side of Cornwall, and got caught in a flood in Portlaven. The car only just made it through that one coughing and spluttering, only to find the road was shut, but only from the other end :x .

Adam
 
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Adam

Sounds grim mate. Glad to have you back in one piece!

I take it the white water rafting skills are now honed to perfection but the suntan lacks somewhat :lol:

BTW The surface plate is seeing loads of use at the mo :wink:
 

Alf

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Adam,

Urgh. I did think of you and wonder if you'd picked exactly the wrong place to go or not (I scanned the footage for ginger-headed tourists trying to keep planes out of the water and everything :wink: ). Sounds like you were lucky - just. Apparently the Boscastle postie saw the river rising and thought "Hmm, better get all the post out of the post boxes in case they get damp". Got a little closer and decided "To hell with that, I'm getting out of here!" which was just as well for you! :shock: Anyway, "Portlaven"? I admit I get all the Port-thises and thats mixed up, but I don't know that one. Not Porthleven? 'Cos if so you must have virtually driven past Chez Alf on your way. :(

Cheers, Alf

Listening to the rain coming down again. :roll:
 
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