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Alf

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Up the proverbial creek
Courtesy of WoodNet, and obviously based around hand tool auctions, but I thought it might amuse:

Good condition for its age - Looks like rubbish
Vintage - not brand new
Antique - see vintage
Patina - rusty
A little rust - really rusty
Rusty - I know there's some iron in that pile of iron oxide somewhere
I don't know anything about planes - If I told you what I know about this one, you wouldn't bid on it.
Bid with confidence - Be very afraid
Would be an asset to any collection - Some people will buy anything
What we have here - If I act all folksy, maybe people will think that I'm honest
My grandfather's plane - I adopted that guy at the flea market
Rare - I've never seen one
Very rare - I've never seen one and neither have my drinking buddies
You don't see these very often - You see these every day
Ready to show - don't count on it actually working
Minty - I cleaned it with toothpaste
Excellent condition - I'm not exactly under oath here
Unusual - There's less than a dozen being sold on eBay at any given time
Stanley? - Not Stanley

Cheers, Alf
 
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