DON'T work for family.

[Graham Orm]

Without going into specifics, I've had a distressing week. After thinking I was doing a favour for an inlaw, being accused of 'milking' the job. Disgusted, upset and angry. Never again!

 

[Random Orbital Bob]

send a second invoice through the post

 

[kostello]

Without going into specifics, I've had a distressing week. After thinking I was doing a favour for an inlaw, being accused of 'milking' the job. Disgusted, upset and angry. Never again!

No good deed goes unpunished.......

I feel your pain

 

[Dangermouse]

After a similar incident many years ago, of really putting myself out for an inlaw, doing twice the amount of work I could have gotten away with and charging half the price and then being accused of over charging and cheating him and never hearing the last of it. I resolved NEVER to do ANY work for family EVER again !

 

[Graham Orm]

send a second invoice through the post

You're a twisted stirer orbital Bob :lol:

 

[Random Orbital Bob]

aint it the truth

 

[barkwindjammer]

You prolly upset them by charging them-which is absolutely the right thing to do, years ago I made the mistake of doing all favours for family/in laws for free-I cursed myself for years after it-it became expected, with a never ending list of 'jobs' some of them large i.e. fitted kitchens, decking etc, I made a rod for my own back, take solace in the fact that you may just have pre-empted a situation that you would regret for years.

 

[Mike.S]

You have my sympathies. I hope, in time, the in-law realises their error and apologises.

 

[Graham Orm]

Thanks for the sympathy guys. Very frustrating and upsetting. A phone call today has gone some way to repairing the damage. Lesson learned though. Never again.

 

[No skills]

Its a horrible situation for sure, after a bad experience last year I will be pricing any jobs as if for 'customers' rather than 'friends'.

 

[Losos]

Graham, I think we've all had similar experiences. The golden rule has to be "I'm too busy" make up jobs if necessary but fact is people will use you if there is a family connection.

 

[Cowboy _Builder]

An old guy I used to work with told me what he did to address this problem and I've used it to great effect .

When friends or relatives ask him to do jobs for them he told them to get 2 other quotes and he submitted a full quote , this showed what he would normally charge ...but depending on the job he told them he would do it for 15%-20% less .

 

[billybuntus]

I find in life that the people who hardly lift a finger and haven't half a clue on how to approach the job they are watching you do are always the first to criticise.

The people that are closest to you generally criticise you more.

Never work for family. Unless its for free or cake and tea.

 

[Lons]

Many of us have been there and I'm in a situation where with a large extended family I do a lot of work for free. I don't mind really but what does get me is that they expect a lifetime service as well. eg fitted a hardwood door 10 years ago and it's warped a little due to damp as it hasn't been properly maintained. this particular relative took offence when I said it wasn't my responsibility to put it right. Then when he asked to borrow my tools so one of his mates could do the work he didn't like my reply so it's a bit strained :roll:

Given my time over, I would refuse all but my parents and kids which I would do FOC

Bob

 

[Graham Orm]

Many of us have been there and I'm in a situation where with a large extended family I do a lot of work for free. I don't mind really but what does get me is that they expect a lifetime service as well. eg fitted a hardwood door 10 years ago and it's warped a little due to damp as it hasn't been properly maintained. this particular relative took offence when I said it wasn't my responsibility to put it right. Then when he asked to borrow my tools so one of his mates could do the work he didn't like my reply so it's a bit strained :roll:

Given my time over, I would refuse all but my parents and kids which I would do FOC

Bob

That's a sad one Bob. Your last line will be my response to any other family from now on.

 

[kostello]

Someone once said,"if I want to work for free I've got loads to do at home"


It seems to me that if friends respect you they should be prepared to pay full whack.

Whether you choose to charge them that is down to you........

Just saying ?

 

[doctor Bob]

I refuse to work for my wife.....

 

[Lons]

That's a sad one Bob. Your last line will be my response to any other family from now on.

Not a close relative and I never really liked him anyway so not difficult to ignore him and hasn't caused me a problem :wink:

It's him who lost out because if he hadn't been so bullish I would have looked at it, ( his words were "you fitted it and it shouldn't have warped so when will you come round and put it right" ). So he's done me a favour in a strange way as I've hardened my attitude a little.

It's not just families though, I do a lot of small favours and most people are very genuine and grateful, I often get "proper" work as a result and am a great believer that what goes around comes around but there are always those who take the proverbial. That's where the once bitten, twice shy bit kicks in.

e.g. A few years ago a neighbour "friend" asked for the loan of one of my cement mixers for the weekend so he could build a small garden wall around his oil tank. After 2 weeks I had to go and ask for it back and found out he'd actually borrowed it for a mate to build his wall as well as other work. To add insult, his mate hadn't cleaned it properly and bashed it with a hammer. A few choice words expressed my disgust and he must be thick skinned as he's asked for tools since - never got them though , just sent him off with a flea in his ear!

 

[Lons]

I refuse to work for my wife.....

When I do that, I rapidly find myself on a diet as I have to cook my own dinner

 

[Graham Orm]

That's a sad one Bob. Your last line will be my response to any other family from now on.

Not a close relative and I never really liked him anyway so not difficult to ignore him and hasn't caused me a problem :wink:

It's him who lost out because if he hadn't been so bullish I would have looked at it, ( his words were "you fitted it and it shouldn't have warped so when will you come round and put it right" ). So he's done me a favour in a strange way as I've hardened my attitude a little.

It's not just families though, I do a lot of small favours and most people are very genuine and grateful, I often get "proper" work as a result and am a great believer that what goes around comes around but there are always those who take the proverbial. That's where the once bitten, twice shy bit kicks in.

e.g. A few years ago a neighbour "friend" asked for the loan of one of my cement mixers for the weekend so he could build a small garden wall around his oil tank. After 2 weeks I had to go and ask for it back and found out he'd actually borrowed it for a mate to build his wall as well as other work. To add insult, his mate hadn't cleaned it properly and bashed it with a hammer. A few choice words expressed my disgust and he must be thick skinned as he's asked for tools since - never got them though , just sent him off with a flea in his ear!

Obviously not someone who works with tools. Frustrating. I almost take pleasure in saying no when asked to lend tools. Regardless of who it is, they never look after them.
I fitted a kitchen for yet another in-law (got paid properly on this occasion). I turned round at one point to catch him scraping wallpaper off with one of my chisels. The red mist dropped and I almost flipped, but stopped myself, needless to say I got the message across and he didn't help himself again. He's a male nurse and has zero tools of his own.
There are always going to be similar stories. Hope you got a new barrel paid for, for your mixer.