Best blonde joke ever?

[devonwoody]

A blonde gets a job as a physical education teacher of 16 year olds. She notices a boy at the end of the field standing alone, while all the other kids are running around having fun kicking a football. She takes pity on him and decides to speak to him.

'You ok?' she says.


'Yes.' he says..


'You can go and play with the other kids you know' she says.
'It's best I stay here.' he says.


'Why's that sweetie?' says the blonde.

The boy looks at her incredulously and says:-

"Because I'm the goal keeper !!!"

 

[Grahamshed]

Love it.
That made I larf

 

[Baldhead]

=D> =D> =D>

Baldhead

 

[david123]

Nice one

 

[Racers]

A blonde goes into work one morning crying her eyes out. Her boss asked sympathetically, "What's the matter?" The blonde replies, "Early this morning I got a phone call saying that my mother had passed away."
The boss feeling very sorry for her says, "Why don't you go home for the day...we aren't terribly busy. Just take the day off to relax and rest."
"Thanks, but I'd be better off here. I need to keep my mind off it and I have the best chance of doing that here." The boss agrees and allows the blonde to work as usual.
A few hours pass and the boss decides to check on the blonde. He looks out over his office and sees the blonde hysterically crying. "What's so bad now? Are you going be okay?" he asks.
"No!" exclaims the blonde. "I just received a horrible call from my sister and she said that her mum died too!

Pete

 

[Grahamshed]

(hammer) (hammer) (hammer)

 

[devonwoody]

Those blonde girls certainly get some stick.

Better to be a Red head me thinks.

 

[joethedrummer]

Blonde wife painting house, husband walks in and can"t believe she"s doing so well, but has to ask why she is wearing a leather jacket and a parka,, she says "hello ! read the tin, it says for best results put 2 coats on"

 

[Doug B]

That's a cracker DW.

Another for the thread.

On a bitterly cold winter's morning a husband and wife in Glasgow were listening to the radio during breakfast.
They heard the announcer say, "We are going to have 8 to 10 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the even-numbered side of the street, so the Snow ploughs can get through".
So the good wife went out and moved her car as instructed.
A week later while they are eating breakfast again, the radio announcer said, "We are expecting 10 to 12 inches of snow today. You must park your car on the odd-numbered side of the street, so the snow ploughs can get through."
The good wife went out and moved her car again.
The next week they are again having breakfast when the radio announcer says, "We are expecting 12 to 14 inches of snow today.
You must park......." Then the power went off.
The good wife was very upset, and with a worried look on her face she said, "I don't know what to do.
Which side of the street do I need to park on so the snow ploughs can get through?"
Then, with all the love and understanding in his voice that men who are married to blondes always exhibit, the husband replied "Why don't you just leave the bloody car in the garage this time?

 

[Doug B]

& just to restore the balance



A lawyer boarded an Air Canada aircraft in Los Angeles with a box of frozen crabs and asked a blonde stewardess to take care of them for him.

She took the box and promised to put it in the crew's refrigerator. He advised her that he was holding her personally responsible for them staying frozen, mentioning in a very haughty manner that he was a lawyer, and proceeded to rant at her about what would happen if she let them thaw out. Needless to say, she was annoyed by his behavior.
Shortly before landing in Montreal, she used the intercom to announce to the entire cabin,

"Would the lawyer who gave me the crabs, in Los Angeles, please raise your hand".

Not one hand went up. So she took them home and ate them.



Two lessons here:



1. Lawyers aren't as smart as they think they are.



2. Blondes aren't as dumb as most folk think.

 

[wellywood]

A blonde moves in to a new neighbourhood and being short of money, starts touting for casual work.
The first neighbour she calls on says he'll give her $100 to paint his porch. He shows her where the paint and brushes are and disappears to the back garden to drink cold beer.
Within an hour, the blonde appears and announces she's finished. The neighbour is astonished and says he frankly doesn't believe her.
'Come and see for yourself,' she says. 'I've given it two coats. And by the way, it's a Ford not a Porsche.'

 

[Sheptonphil]

My offering :roll:

A plane is on its way to Detroit when a blonde woman in economy class gets up and moves into an open seat in the first class section.

The flight attendant watches her do this, and politely informs the woman that she must sit in economy class because that's the type of ticket she paid for.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

After repeated attempts and no success at convincing the woman to move, the flight attendant goes into the cockpit and informs the pilot and co-pilot that there's a blonde sitting in first class who refuses to go back to her proper seat. The co-pilot goes back to the woman and explains why she needs to move, but once again the woman replies by saying, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to Detroit and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot returns to the cockpit and suggests that perhaps they should have the arrival gate call the police and have the woman arrested when they land. The pilot says, "You say she's blonde? I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I speak blonde." He goes back to the woman and whispers quietly in her ear, and she says, "Oh, I'm sorry," then quickly moves back to her seat in economy class.

The flight attendant and co-pilot are amazed and ask him what he said to get her to move back to economy without causing any fuss.

"I told her first class isn't going to Detroit."

 

[Grahamshed]

Brilliant (hammer) (hammer) (hammer)

 

[flanajb]

Quality jokes. Made us laugh here!

 

[Doug B]

A guy was driving down a motorway in England with his blonde girlfriend and she piped up,

"I think those people in the car next to us are from Wales".

"Why do you think that ?" he said.

"Well, the kids are writing on the window and it says:

"stit ruoy su wohs".

 

[rafezetter]

Blonde wife painting house, husband walks in and can"t believe she"s doing so well, but has to ask why she is wearing a leather jacket and a parka,, she says "hello ! read the tin, it says for best results put 2 coats on"

that gave me a laugh