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Avoiding Covid 19

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Yojevol

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THIS IS HOW YOU DO IT FOLKS

1. You MUST NOT leave the house for any reason, but if you have a reason, you can leave the house
2. Masks are useless at protecting you against the virus, but you may have to wear one because it can save lives, but they may not work, but they may be mandatory, but maybe not
3. Shops are closed, except those shops that are open
4. You must not go to work but you can get another job and go to work
5. You should not go to the Doctor or to the hospital unless you have to go there, unless you are too poorly to go there
6. This virus can kill people, but don’t be scared of it. It can only kill those people who are vulnerable or those people who are not vulnerable people. It’s possible to contain and control it, sometimes, except that sometimes it actually leads to a global disaster
7. Gloves won't help, but they can still help so wear them sometimes or not
8. STAY HOME, but it's important to go out
9. There is no shortage of groceries in the supermarkets, but there are many things missing. Sometimes you won’t need loo rolls but you should buy some just in case you need some
10. The virus has no effect on children except those children it effects
11. Animals are not affected, but there is still a cat that tested positive in Belgium in February when no one had been tested, plus a few tigers here and there…
12. Stay 2 metres away from tigers (see point 11)
13. You will have many symptoms if your get the virus, but you can also get symptoms without getting the virus, get the virus without having any symptoms or be contagious without having symptoms, or be non contagious with symptoms...
14. To help protect yourself you should eat well and exercise, but eat whatever you have on hand as it's better not to go out shopping
15. It's important to get fresh air but don't go to parks but go for a walk. But don’t sit down, except if you are old, but not for too long or if you are pregnant or if you’re not old or pregnant but need to sit down. If you do sit down don’t eat your picnic
16. Don’t visit old people but you have to take care of the old people and bring them food and medication
17. If you are sick, you can go out when you are better but anyone else in your household can’t go out when you are better unless they need to go out
18. You can get restaurant food delivered to the house. These deliveries are safe. But groceries you bring back to your house have to be decontaminated outside for 3 hours including Pizza...
19. You can't see your older mother or grandmother, but they can take a taxi and meet an older taxi driver
20. You are safe if you maintain the safe social distance when out but you can’t go out with friends or strangers at the safe social distance
21. The virus remains active on different surfaces for two hours ... or four hours... six hours... I mean days, not hours... But it needs a damp environment. Or a cold environment that is warm and dry... in the air, as long as the air is not plastic
22. Schools are closed so you need to home educate your children, unless you can send them to school because you’re not at home. If you are at home you can home educate your children using various portals and virtual class rooms, unless you have poor internet, or more than one child and only one computer, or you are working from home. Baking cakes can be considered maths, science or art. If you are home educating you can include household chores to be education. If you are home educating you can start drinking at 10am
23. If you are not home educating children you can also start drinking at 10am
24. The number of corona related deaths will be announced daily but we don't know how many people are infected as they are only testing those who are almost dead to find out if that's what they will die of… the people who die of corona who aren’t counted won’t be counted
25. You should stay in locked down until the virus stops infecting people but it will only stop infecting people if we all get infected so it’s important we get infected and some don’t get infected
26. You can join your neighbours for a street party and turn your music up for an outside disco and your neighbours won’t call the police. People in another street are allowed to call the police about your music.
27. No business will go under due to Coronavirus except those businesses that will have already gone under.

CAN YOU AD FURTHER 'RULES'?
 

Yojevol

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This came from my aunt residing in a care home somewhere in darkest Gloucestershire:-
I'm normally a social girl
I love to meet my mates
But lately with the virus here
We can't go out the gates.

You see, we are the 'oldies' now
We need to stay inside
If they haven't seen us for a while
They'll think we've upped and died.

They'll never know the things we did
Before we got this old
There wasn't any Facebook
So not everything was told.

We may seem, sweet old ladies,
Who would never be uncouth
But we grew up in the 60s -
If you only knew the truth!

There was sex and drugs and rock 'n roll
The pill and miniskirts
We smoked, we drank, we partied
And were quite outrageous flirts.

Then we settled down, got married
And turned into someone's mum,
Somebody's wife, then nana,
Who on earth did we become?

We didn't mind the change of pace
Because our lives were full
But to bury us before we're dead
Is like a red rag to a bull!

So here you find me stuck inside
For 4 weeks, maybe more
I finally found myself again
Then I had to close the door!

It didn't really bother me
I'd while away the hour
I'd bake for all the family
But I've got no bloody flour!

Now Netflix is just wonderful
I like a gutsy thriller
I'm swooning over Idris
Or some random sexy killer.

At least I've got a stash of booze
For when I'm being idle
There's wine and whiskey, even gin
If I'm feeling suicidal!

So let's all drink to lockdown
To recovery and health
And hope this bloody virus
Doesn't decimate our wealth.

We'll all get through the crisis
And be back to join our mates
Just hoping I'm not far too wide
To fit through the flaming gates!
 

FatmanG

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20200423_173004.jpg
I think the grim reaper has been to see me in the night. I have a lot of underlying health conditions and was always going to be one of the useless layabout disabled people who she calls out so it's no drama for her and the country she will hava party celebrating my demise. Firstly can I say the NHS has been brilliant . I've not lacked any support in any way. Ers hospital and the paramedics hats off to the brave hero's. Please let something good happens to society when this is over I am signing out now fellas I hope to be back. Our dippy 39 died last week. No health conditions. I'm posting 2 pics of my leg. It happened in about an hour if this infection doesn't kill me I'm scared the virus will. I'm not going to hospital I'm going to bed and lay with my 2 girls. They are my life
2 pics added please please take care. Its hit me like a bomb.
#suchislife
20200423_173004.jpg
 

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Lons

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Why do we need to avoid Corvid 19 at all?
Trump has the answer, just inject disinfectant into the body to kill it, now we know why all the bleach and disinfectant disappeared from the shelves.

I'd back what the dopey US president says, as long as he's the first guinea pig. :lol:
 

AES

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@Lons: re your, QUOTE: I'd back what the dopey US president says, as long as he's the first guinea pig. UNQUOTE.

Yup, I'm with you 100% there mate, PROVIDED I can be the one to bang the needle in his ----- (I heard that just like a Tetanus jab, it's best applied DEEP in the buttocks); AND provided I can make sure the dosage is twice whatever he thinks is "normal"!

In all seriousness for a mo, just WHAT is up with the Yanks????

Like many others here, I've been there many times, and have good friends and many contacts there. Whilst it's true that you can find more than the odd one or two thickos in America (and you don't have to try any harder than you do "here" to find them either) just what IS it with a nation that really does have so many great achievements under it's belt that it can't find a simple way to get rid of this petulant arrogant childish "president" of theirs?

"Distraught of Woking"

Edit for P.S. Please add "truly ignorant" to the list of "presidential attributes" above!
 

Chris152

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In danger of becoming political, but I do think this is too odd to think of even in those terms:
https://www.facebook.com/OccupyDemocrat ... 9887625261
'Reckitt Benckiser, which owns Lysol and Dettol, said "under no circumstance" should its products be injected or ingested.
President Trump has faced a backlash from doctors over his comments at a briefing on Thursday.
Disinfectants are hazardous substances and can be poisonous if ingested.'
 

SammyQ

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I worked it out. Somebody told him - as part of a briefing on viruses - that they were susceptible to U.V. and bleaches/phenols.

The terminally thick wassock that he is, thought he would show off his 'knowledge'(!!) by using it to show how innovative HE was... ](*,) ](*,) ](*,)

Sam
 

rafezetter

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RogerS":pbpd86m9 said:
Stupidity is not exclusive to Trump.

No problem for me - as long as the isle of wight is then ringfenced with our navy and a "shoot on site" order given to any vessel trying to leave for the next few months ...... it's almost as if "the stupid" WANT to be rounded up and shot.

There's not even any solid data on if having survived it, you are then "immune" best estimates say "we dunno - but it seems to behave that way and that a person will have limited resistance for a few years"

https://www.livescience.com/covid-19-immunity.html

an article from 3 days ago.
 

Droogs

Is that chisel shar ... Ow
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I love how the poster says - "say yes to life" but leaves off "But make it a short one!"
 

Terry - Somerset

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Nothing sinister about a mass gathering on the IoW - just part of the thorough testing program for the new trach and trace app.
 

Richard_C

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Not just I of W, they are planning mass protests this weekend all over the UK. e.g. parks in most big cities.

Might be wise to check locally for places not to have a quiet family walk.
 

RogerS

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Richard_C":242vsih0 said:
Not just I of W, they are planning mass protests this weekend all over the UK. e.g. parks in most big cities.

Might be wise to check locally for places not to have a quiet family walk.
Where's the Far Right when you need them ?

#-o They ARE the Far Right
 

worn thumbs

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I've only been to the Isle of Wight once and I won't be going there this weekend.Isn't it where David Icke lives?It looks like the Darwin awards will have lots of nominations to select from quite soon.
 

Trainee neophyte

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Nigel Burden":ll1ro3d5 said:
The words" water cannon" spring to mind.

Nigel.
I hope you will be adding disinfectant to that water. Might as well kill two birds with one stone.
 
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