A few jokes for a grim Tuesday morn.


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Established Member
12 Aug 2010
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Mid Wales....just
A father buys a lie detecting robot that slaps a person when he lies.
The father decides to test it out on his son at supper.
"Where were you last night?"
"I was at the library."
The robot slaps the son.

"Okay, I was at a friend's house."

"Doing what?" asks the father.

"Watching a movie, 'Toy Story.'"
The robot slaps the son.
"Okay, it was porn!" cries the son.
The father yells, "What? When I was your age, I didn't know what porn was!"

The robot slaps the father.

The mother laughs and says, "He certainly is your son!"

The robot slaps the mother.

On a beautiful summer's day, two English tourists were driving

At the town of
they stopped for lunch, and one of the tourists asked the very
Welsh waitress:

"Before we order, I wonder if you could settle an argument for us.
Can you pronounce where we are, very, very, very slowly?"

The girl leaned over and said,"Burrr.... Gurrr.... King."

On a recent trip to the United States, Tony Blair addressed a major gathering of Native American Indians.He spoke for almost an hour about peace in the Middle East. At the conclusion of his speech, the crowd presented him with a plaque inscribed with his new Indian name - Walking Eagle. A very chuffed Tony then departed in his motorcade, waving to the crowds. A news reporter later asked one of the Indians how they came to select the new name given to Tony Blair.They explained that Walking Eagle is the name given to a bird so full of sh*t that it can no longer fly.