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  1. Z

    Joke Thread II

    Congratulations, you've just done my head in, or should this be posted in the off topic thread. Oh. I think have?
  2. Z

    Joke Thread II

    How can you understand any woman once you've seen them try to cut through a 4 x 2 timber with a hand saw?
  3. Z

    Old Parquet Floor

    Hi, I'm aware of a previous thread that mentions this issue, but that thread seems to deal with a new floor or concealing nail holes etc. in different woods. My problem is that I have a 100 year old parquet floor in my entrance hall, it has had many feet over it, it has character, has raised...
  4. Z

    Joke thread

    Probably not a joke, but I was talking to my son tonight about the work being done at CERN, my wife got involved, me and my son said "Mum, you don't know what we are talking about", she said "Yes I do, you're talking about that Swiss Kaleidoscope" (This is the same woman who, when we went to...
  5. Z

    Joke thread

    Jokes evolve and generations forget. No harm in reminding them. I forgot this JCC clip until reminded. If anyone is unaware of John Cooper Clarke, try youtube, he is a wordsmith extraordinaire, dry, cynical and definitely pushing boundaries in that era. Outside the chip shop Saturday night etc.
  6. Z

    Joke thread

    Today I saw a joke on a Network Rail forum that was identical to one I saw on here a few days back. I assumed it had amused him & he had re-posted it to a different forum to a different audience. I doubt there was malice, it's just cross pollination between unrelated forums. Still, I smiled at...
  7. Z

    Joke thread

    Q.E.D.?
  8. Z

    What are home alarms for, other than driving your neighbours up the wall?

    I really don't want to start a whole German Shepherd thread, but I have to say I've owned, loved, bred and shown them for 40+ years. Properly bred they are a bombproof, loving, loyal breed to own if they are responsibly bred. The British Army had much respect for them in World War 1 when they...
  9. Z

    Joke thread

    That's a fail at GCSE O Level then, although who on earth takes that exam these days?
  10. Z

    Joke thread

    Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatis, Amant, I decline to answer this comment! Maybe a certain type of person to bother replying to this?
  11. Z

    Joke thread

    Man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, the barman says "What's beer?" Man says " You should go on ukworkshop.co.uk, your brother is always posting on it!
  12. Z

    Joke thread

    So they can get an internet connection in Outer Mongolia!
  13. Z

    Joke thread

    I suspected that, although I didn't realise Greta & Attenborough were now a couple. That image doesn't sit well with me!
  14. Z

    Joke thread

    Please tell me this joke has been posted somewhere before, it seems to be so obvious, but sometimes you just need a bit of lateral thought. If it's original then full marks, you've got my vote!
  15. Z

    How much??

    From my experience they are trusting of Brits, extremely open, but also street wise. Boris would have no chance!
  16. Z

    What is your go-to hand tool for chamfering or rounding edges

    Strangely enough, and not being a professional, just a guy who has worked with wood for many years, I'm going to stick my head above the parapet. Just to round off a sharp edge why not hand sand? It takes a bit of time to get the feel and consistency of it, but using 80 grade paper in maybe...
  17. Z

    How much??

    I have worked with many people from Saint Helena. The "Saints" are a fantastic island of people. Why would we inflict Boris on them. Maybe better (and cheaper) to send him to the Ukraine / Russia border with a pink "I hate Putin" T-Shirt.
  18. Z

    How much??

    Be fair though, the staining is at least average, and he's used felt tipped pens rather than crayon to outline the tools. That, plus the way the screws or 4" nails used at the joints are concealed excellently. I was almost reaching for my wallet!
  19. Z

    Luthiers...

    I am not a luthier, and could never claim that level of skill, but my family own and love several beautifully made guitars. A recent post on youtube: Dan's Acoustic Guitar Build Part 1/5 With Master Luthier Jonny Kinkead - YouTube gives an appreciation of what a true Luthier is all about. It's a...
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