Recent content by Zedgeezer

Congratulations, you've just done my head in, or should this be posted in the off topic thread. Oh. I think have?

How can you understand any woman once you've seen them try to cut through a 4 x 2 timber with a hand saw?

Hi, I'm aware of a previous thread that mentions this issue, but that thread seems to deal with a new floor or concealing nail holes etc. in different woods. My problem is that I have a 100 year old parquet floor in my entrance hall, it has had many feet over it, it has character, has raised...

Probably not a joke, but I was talking to my son tonight about the work being done at CERN, my wife got involved, me and my son said "Mum, you don't know what we are talking about", she said "Yes I do, you're talking about that Swiss Kaleidoscope" (This is the same woman who, when we went to...

Jokes evolve and generations forget. No harm in reminding them. I forgot this JCC clip until reminded. If anyone is unaware of John Cooper Clarke, try youtube, he is a wordsmith extraordinaire, dry, cynical and definitely pushing boundaries in that era. Outside the chip shop Saturday night etc.

Today I saw a joke on a Network Rail forum that was identical to one I saw on here a few days back. I assumed it had amused him & he had re-posted it to a different forum to a different audience. I doubt there was malice, it's just cross pollination between unrelated forums. Still, I smiled at...

Q.E.D.?

I really don't want to start a whole German Shepherd thread, but I have to say I've owned, loved, bred and shown them for 40+ years. Properly bred they are a bombproof, loving, loyal breed to own if they are responsibly bred. The British Army had much respect for them in World War 1 when they...

That's a fail at GCSE O Level then, although who on earth takes that exam these days?

Amo, Amas, Amat, Amamus, Amatis, Amant, I decline to answer this comment! Maybe a certain type of person to bother replying to this?

Man walks into a bar, asks for a beer, the barman says "What's beer?" Man says " You should go on ukworkshop.co.uk, your brother is always posting on it!

So they can get an internet connection in Outer Mongolia!

I suspected that, although I didn't realise Greta & Attenborough were now a couple. That image doesn't sit well with me!

Please tell me this joke has been posted somewhere before, it seems to be so obvious, but sometimes you just need a bit of lateral thought. If it's original then full marks, you've got my vote!

From my experience they are trusting of Brits, extremely open, but also street wise. Boris would have no chance!