UKWorkshop Woodworking Forums




Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next
Author Message
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 12:50 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2017, 12:59
Posts: 350
Location: Reading, UK
Has thanked: 12 times
Been thanked: 17 times
Morning....

Spent several hours on the phone with a friend last night. He's just paid off his mortgage and will be moving to a new house, while doing up both at the same time. He's a bit of an oddball and slightly eccentric - IT guru in terms of app support and programming Windows/Linux/Unix, but cannot master WhatsApp, Kindle or basic driver updates.
Would probably be more at home in his own castle-mansion, sort of thing.

Anyway, he says he wants wood panelling in both properties...
Ideally some Tudor/Jacobean sort of thing, but so long as it looks good he's happy. It can be chipboard with laminate or even vinyl sheet stick over it, so long as it looks good. He's currently perusing something like NaffHardwoodFloorsRUs.co.uk, some sister brand of OakFurnitureLand.com who offer "Quality French Oak" laminated plywood T&G boards for rip-off money.

Problem is, he wants it to be free-standing, no fixing to the wall... and strong enough to hold the weight of mounted things - mainly paintings, swords and muskets..... and the sections must break down so they will fit inside his 2010 Suzuki Swift Sport SZ3.

I honestly have no idea where to even start!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!


Share on Facebook Share on Twitter Share on Digg
Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 13:31 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2015, 12:33
Posts: 396
Location: Shetland
Has thanked: 81 times
Been thanked: 78 times
He wants lifesize knockdown panelled walls that'll fit in his boot? Unless this is for a dollhouse, perhaps backing away slowly would be a good start?


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 14:26 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2017, 12:59
Posts: 350
Location: Reading, UK
Has thanked: 12 times
Been thanked: 17 times
Yup, my first insane customer with insane ideas on what I should be able to knock up with just a bandsaw, ½" chisel and a combi-plane - I've only just got him out the habit of saying "Marine Plywood" every five seconds while telling me about the stunningly gorgeous solid oak writing bureau he wanted me to replicate!!
He's got the money, but not the skills or desire to make stuff - This has seen him through many other endeavours and outright struggles (like changing his wiper blades) but he's fast learning that some things just can't be done with imagination alone.

Besides, he's also a very good friend and knows where I live, so no backing possible... He'd also come back like a yoyo, with something else equally insane.

So before I close him down on the idea and just (effectively) stick panels to his walls like it's always been done, I want to see if there's some kind of compromise available.


The best I could come up with was a row of cabinets or work surfaces for half the height, with uprights supporting some kind of stud frame along the uppers, to which sections of T&G boards were affixed. Could maybe have double width sections of empty space between cabinets that way.
It doesn't have to be proper all-wood construction and I can use metal brackets and anything else to my heart's content, so long as the show face looks like wood panelling and can support some mounted collectors' junk...


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 14:43 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 04 Mar 2016, 17:41
Posts: 906
Location: Stockport
Has thanked: 303 times
Been thanked: 104 times
what's the actual question?

_________________
https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/TyremanWoo ... _shop_menu


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 14:55 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2017, 12:59
Posts: 350
Location: Reading, UK
Has thanked: 12 times
Been thanked: 17 times
thetyreman wrote:
what's the actual question?

How, in the name of Robert Wearing, might this be in any way achievable? :lol:

I'm perfectly prepared to tell him where to stick it, if it is indeed as preposterous as it sounds.... I just want to be sure, as well!


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:00 
Offline
Valued Contributor

Joined: 30 Aug 2015, 18:47
Posts: 3040
Location: The Wild West (of Wales)
Has thanked: 1058 times
Been thanked: 645 times
Q: Can you just...?

A: Sorry, it can't be done.

Sorted.

_________________
Image
It looks extremely dangerous and may attack and explode at any time... WE MUST DEAL WITH IT.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:05 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 04 Mar 2016, 17:41
Posts: 906
Location: Stockport
Has thanked: 303 times
Been thanked: 104 times
Tasky wrote:
thetyreman wrote:
what's the actual question?

How, in the name of Robert Wearing, might this be in any way achievable? :lol:

I'm perfectly prepared to tell him where to stick it, if it is indeed as preposterous as it sounds.... I just want to be sure, as well!


lol well he doesn't sound too mentally stable, I'd be tempted to give an insanely high price and just say it has to be quartersawn solid oak or you're not doing it, but from what you've already said, sounds like you should just say no and move on.

_________________
https://www.etsy.com/uk/shop/TyremanWoo ... _shop_menu


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:27 
Offline
Regular Contributor

Joined: 28 Nov 2010, 23:53
Posts: 1730
Location: South Wales
Has thanked: 44 times
Been thanked: 36 times
I can't think of a way to go about panelling a room without some fixings to the structure.
Could the panels be attached to a frame, which is in turn secured to walls/ceiling joists with a minimum amount of screws? At least then most of weight would be transferred down to the floor and the fixings only keep them upright.

_________________
Mark


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:32 
Offline
Settling In

Joined: 01 Jan 2016, 13:04
Posts: 147
Location: Chester
Has thanked: 16 times
Been thanked: 21 times
The questions I would ask are:

Why free standing? Can a simple frame be used which can be screwed to the wall to stop it falling over when he puts things on it.

Why does it have to fit in his car? What happens when he changes the car? It is easy enough to hire a van or trailer to move it when he moves.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:38 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 22 Jun 2015, 12:33
Posts: 396
Location: Shetland
Has thanked: 81 times
Been thanked: 78 times
With no fixings to walls (and ceiling I'm guessing) it'll be like living on the Prisoner: Cell Block H set ;) I'd perhaps see if you can get him to wiggle on his requirements e.g. allowing some fixings, being transportable in a van etc. It'd make your job that much easier [read: more likely to ever happen].


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:40 
Offline
Participant
User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2017, 10:36
Posts: 49
Location: Suffolk
Has thanked: 21 times
Been thanked: 11 times
HappyHacker wrote:
Why does it have to fit in his car? What happens when he changes the car? It is easy enough to hire a van or trailer to move it when he moves.


This ^^^, so much this... Is he taking it with him on holiday so it feels like he's at home or something weird?

Button Fix might be a solution.

It actually sounds like he wants a display wall to hang some "manly" stuff on.

Point in the other direction and run away.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 15:44 
Offline
Valued Contributor
User avatar

Joined: 24 Jul 2007, 16:32
Posts: 9068
Location: Bristol
Has thanked: 620 times
Been thanked: 1180 times
It does sound more like a stage scenery sort of problem. AFAIK they often use lightweight frames ("flats") held together by things like large staples fitted loose into holes, held down by weights.

But if he wants to fix things to it, I reckon you would need to build a stouter framework and fix it up to the ceiling joists and down into the floor. (You could use big visible bolts or lag screws which would be easily removed, leaving just a few holes to fill in with some caulk.)

It would be a bit like the panels that sheds are made from, but nicer on the front, and a bit like a partition wall.

Does he realise how much smaller the rooms will be? Or does he want a network of secret passages as well??!!

_________________
Andy


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 16:03 
Online
Settled in Member

Joined: 30 Jun 2015, 23:19
Posts: 905
Location: Warwick
Has thanked: 62 times
Been thanked: 127 times
Possibly wedge it up to the ceiling with folding wedges?


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 16:17 
Offline
Settled in Member
User avatar

Joined: 13 Jul 2017, 12:59
Posts: 350
Location: Reading, UK
Has thanked: 12 times
Been thanked: 17 times
HappyHacker wrote:
Why free standing?

It will need to transfer from one property to another at some point and likely one or more after that. Both current properties will be sold at some point, but the walls must also be accessible to plumbers, plasterers, electricians and whoever else, with relative ease and short-ish notice.

HappyHacker wrote:
Can a simple frame be used which can be screwed to the wall to stop it falling over when he puts things on it.

Well, nothing must *damage* the walls. Not even the wallpaper...
I wondered about something 'press-fit' between floor and ceiling, but ruled that out quite quick. I suppose it could lean against the wall?

HappyHacker wrote:
Why does it have to fit in his car?

So he can move it himself without calling upon me and mine, or suffering the complexity and expense of renting a Transit van... partly because the houses are only 5 minutes slow walk from each other. Literally, I could shoot arrows through the window of one while standing in the windows of the other.

HappyHacker wrote:
What happens when he changes the car?

Well, based on previous changes.... I simply make fun of his weird choices, lack of mechnical knowledge, lack of appreciation and open-mindedness to new features (like no option for manual windows in 2010), before leaving him to sleep in the bed he made for himself. I help him when it breaks, but he pays the full price for it.
But unless the Swift breaks, he won't change it.

Nelsun wrote:
I'd perhaps see if you can get him to wiggle on his requirements

Oh jeez, believe me, I'm working on that!!!
He's really in love with the idea of being the stubborn old man, stuck in the old ways and knowing better than anyone else...
Male hair loss is supposed to be hereditary, for which I'm quite glad, but at this rate I'll be Yul Brynner before the month is out!

ScaredyCat wrote:
This ^^^, so much this... Is he taking it with him on holiday so it feels like he's at home or something weird?

Wouldn't surprise me....
Nah, he's moving out to do up the existing property for sale, into a place that is still under rental contract lease or something, after which it also becomes his, but must remain pristine so he can then sell it on after a year... I'll be honest, property lease things bore me and I switched off while he talked through it!

ScaredyCat wrote:
It actually sounds like he wants a display wall to hang some "manly" stuff on.

Pretty much... although he's not much of a painter, I know he's highly skilled with broadsword, quarterstaff and musket. He was a student at the same martial arts class as me and I've seen him shoot.
Cannot fault his reasons for the weaponry.

MusicMan wrote:
Possibly wedge it up to the ceiling with folding wedges?

Thought of that - Ceiling is too soft, apparently. Thick carpet might be an issue too.


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
PostPosted: 11 Jan 2018, 17:09 
Offline
Participant
User avatar

Joined: 17 Mar 2017, 10:36
Posts: 49
Location: Suffolk
Has thanked: 21 times
Been thanked: 11 times
What about somehting like this:

Image


Top
 Profile  
Reply with quote  
Display posts from previous:  Sort by  
Post new topic Reply to topic  [ 36 posts ]  Go to page 1, 2, 3  Next


Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests


You cannot post new topics in this forum
You cannot reply to topics in this forum
You cannot edit your posts in this forum
You cannot delete your posts in this forum
You cannot post attachments in this forum

Search for:
Jump to:  
 Similar topics   Author   Replies   Views   Last post 
Lugging free wood around

in General Chat (Off-Topic)

sickasapike

22

937

25 Nov 2017, 09:31

Panelling box section

in General Metalworking

GrahamIreland

6

463

09 May 2017, 21:55

Standing or sitting

in Scrolling - Scroll Saws

gjhimages

13

518

09 Feb 2017, 19:43

Free DVD

in Hand Tools

G S Haydon

3

374

05 Dec 2017, 21:09

Free extractor

in General Woodworking

Mr T

4

397

29 Jun 2017, 06:42


Register UKW

User Tools






UKW Local

Quickly find the nearest tool suppliers & timber merchants in your area





Powered by phpBB © 2000, 2002, 2005, 2007 phpBB Group
UKW Terms & Privacy